Sunday, March 27, 2011

At times....

You've got work to do, materials to study. Nonetheless, your mood isn't helping you. You simply can't concentrate.

Experience this before??

When this happens, you'll realize how many of your true friends are there with you. How many in your facebook friends list is not a living prove.

That feeling one get is neither of sadness nor loneliness. But it's just some kind of emptiness you want to fill.

I've had the urge to talk to someone at those moments. Though actually, I don't have a topic I want to talk about. Maybe it is just wanting to know that there's still someone else there around. Haha... Mind numbing isn't it?

Hence, I'm very grateful to God for blessing me with you, my friend. Distance really doesn't matter, the choice is in our hands whether we want to keep in touch or not. You've said before, "we took off quick and we will remain friends for a long long time." I've known that I'm not someone who trust others easily, but I trust your words because I feel the sincerity in you.

Sometimes being sincere to your friend is just the best way you treat a friend.

P/s: I'm glad for all the odd times I've looked for you, early morning, mid-noon or late nights, you never ignore me. THANKS!!! *hugs*
I better get back to practising my speech. And I'll remember your advice for tmr. :)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Just being random...

Do you still remember the times we played together so well?
We enjoyed them, didn't we?

Do you remember the times we chatted so much?
It was interesting, wasn't it?

DO you remember the times we joked so lamely?
It was hilarious, wasn't it?

As we go along in life, we met lots and lots of people.
"Some of them we might meet again, some of them we'll never see again"-Sophia Ling, 2002

Among the many that we meet there are some we're bound to be close to. Getting together. Hanging out together. Laughed. Joked. Cried. Sobbed.

Sometimes, they become a permanent stop in your life. No matter which turn you took, there's just a thread which stays connected. =)

Sometimes, some of them are just like whiteboard marker. They came, stayed for awhile and finally, left. Some went quietly. So quietly, you just don't know what went wrong. Some went with a bang. Disagreements, fights, etc.

But, I doubt any can refute the fact that no matter how they went, they left a mark or print in you. If it's a beautiful memory, we call it a mark, if it's not something happy, we call it a scar.

And somehow it is these marks and scars that teaches us. Teaches us the way of life. That people come and go. With or without a reason. Whether you like it or not. Whether it is for better or for worst. If it is someone you've depended on for quite some time, I'm sorry, you might face some tough times ahead.

But I think the worst is those who are not there but they have not left. There are hanging by a thread but perhaps it's the last thread with some cuts there. The mightiest effect on you would be when you've absolutely no idea what went wrong. What happened to the beautiful friendship? What happened to "we're friends"?

Disappointment, sadness and even tears might come. But they don't change anything, right?

As much as I hate it, I've to learnt to live with it. And I'm going to live with no regrets.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Cravings..... =(

This is rare. I don't usually go around proclaiming my love for desire for certain food. Not because I'm not interested in food. But it's just because the food I love doesn't exist in this part of the word.=(

I guess that explains why I'm not so interested for meals outside or why I don't finish my food, usually. I just don't get what I want.

I know, I know, that sounds so childish right? Like how a little kid refuse to eat just because she's not given what she want. Hehehehe...

1. Laksa
I really love laksa. But people here simply don't know what laksa is. It's just some weird looking dish to them. I've loved laksa since I was four. I still remember the stall operators are usually amazed that a four-year-old kid knows how to eat laksa with a chopstick! Hahaha... But my chopstick skills are still cacat-ed. =p

2. Fruits
It's so hard to get fresh fruits here! Sigh. Honey dews. apples, mempelam, buah kedongdong etc. Oh, how much I miss you all. =p

Only today I knew, buah kedondong is called "sar lei" in Cantonese. Haha...



Oh, can I include Daddy's cooking as well???? Hehehehe....

Craving,craving,craving... =((((((

Science says there is no God.

A very common post, but I'll repost anyway.

An Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the problem Science has with GOD, the Almighty. He asked one of his new Christian students to stand and..
Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, you believe in GOD?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD good?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL?
Student : Yes.

Professor : My Brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent)

Professor : You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella.
Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from?
Student : From...GOD...
Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil?

(Student did not answer)
Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?
All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who created them?

(Student had no answer)
Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe
the World around you. Tell me, son...have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor : Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your
Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor : Yet you still believe in HIM?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol,
Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor : Yes, Faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn't...
(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events)

Student: Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat,
Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat.
But we don't have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero

which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as Cold.
Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat.
We cannot Measure Cold. Heat is Energy.
Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the Lecture Theatre)

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as
Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?
Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of
You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light...
But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its
called Darkness, isn't it? In reality, Darkness isn't. If it is,
you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?
Professor : So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student : Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue
there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are
viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.
Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought. It uses Electricity and
Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.
To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that
Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.
Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it
Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from
a Monkey?
Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process,
yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going)
Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at
work and Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor,
are you not teaching your Opinion, Sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

(The Class was in uproar)
Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The Class broke out into laughter)

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's
brain, felt it, touched or smelt it?...
No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable
Protocol, Science says that you have No Brain, Sir. With all due respect,
Sir, how do we then trust your lectures, Sir?

(The Room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face

Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.

Student : That is it sir...Exactly!
The Link between Man & God is FAITH.
That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

The POWER of FOOD. =)

I’ve never woke up so early in the morning on a normal day when I’m in uni. Not even for class. Probably once or twice for exam, and that’s just for final exam.

Surprisingly, a bunch of 6 girls really woke up for breakfast. Where, you might ask.
The answer: McDonalds.

The whole day started well. First, two of the girls woke up late. And that provided our first source of laughter with sleepy eyes of the day.

We went to Teluk Chempedak’s McDonalds, the only McDonald joint in kuantan which is opened 24-hours. The line was moderately long when we reached there,but as we ate our breakfast, it got longer. More and more people came in clutching the newspaper which has the voucher that supports the current promotion of buy RM 5 and get two big breakfast for free.

Eating provided us with much laughter too.

First was the formula of how many packets of sugar and creamer for the coffee. Haha… it took us such a long time to determine the formula, one of the girls who ordered milo, was already halfway attacking her breakfast when we started.

One cup of McDonalds’s coffee= three packets of sugar=three packets of creamer

The amount of sugar needed to make the coffee edible is a little terrifying , to be honest. Lol. Still, it all went to the happy stomachs. =)

By the time we finished breakfast, it was about 9.30am. So, a friend had to pay a visit to the hospital. W chose to wait opposite the hospital which is by the Kuantan River. Two years I’ve been here but this is the first time I went there. It kinda reminded me of Waterfront in Kuching which is by the Sarawak River.

It was here I learnt new terms. “gong gong” meant swings, “fed fed” is the slide and from these two new names, we invented a new name, “king kong!” Hahaha.. Omg, we really laughed so much from these few new terms. Ah. All the childhood time and memories. I miss them, like, so much.

Berjaya Megamall was the next stop. Giant, to be exact. So, we did our own grocery shopping. I’ve got cabbages to go with my Maggie now. =)
Then some went to satisfy their starbucks cravings, some went for Slurpee. Sad to say, the quality of Slurpee has deteriorated, a lot.

Oh, we made a silly turn on the way back too. Thinking that it could be a short cut, it ended as a no-cut as all. Hahaha… Mind you, Kuantan could be jammed at times too. Haha…

We reached uni around 1.15pm, just in time to be greeted with the rain. Perfect for afternoon nap. =)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Letter to Oneself

Dear Self,

How are things going on? Time lapsed so swiftly. In more than a month, you can return home once again. But in the meantime, keep yourself happy, work hard and stay healthy. I'm glad the flu bug has left you, for good. =)

Self, you know, for no specific reason, I would think of certain memorable incidents. Nothing special triggered it. I could be just on my way down the stairs and it just popped up in my mind. Fascinating how the mind works, eh?

The other day,I though of the hurt you felt 3 years ago. Had it really been that long? But you did well, getting over it, didn't you? Sure it took you time but at least you did it. It wasn't something worth hovering over. But at least you learnt something.

Did you realized that you once had a phobia on phone calls? You simply couldn't get over it at that time. You hated hearing the phone ringing and hate it even more when you hear the same ring tone. Terror just overcame you. However, I'm glad now, you're no longer afraid of it.

Oh, how about big-sized guys with dyed hair? I'm sure it will remain part of your life although they won't have such a bad reaction on you now. They are not all the same. The bad guys have left your life, so don't worry. =)

Remember the wonderful year you had when you were in Form 3? Excellent teachers, World Red Cross Day Mass Parade, Food and Fun Fair, the best person you've ever sat with and near perfect scores, nothing could beat them, right? How I wish I could repeat it again, ya know.

And the tears you've shed over your studies. You cried your heart out when you missed an "A." You cried too when you got all your "As." And when you couldn't understand Geography. Oh, and in Form 6, when you simply never passed Chemistry exam. But nothing could ever erase one particular memory. You were five-years-old that time. It was a Sunday and you forgot you had a English spelling test the next day and you cried. Daddy came to rescue and slowly taught you how to spell. CHO-CO-LATE was the first word, you'll never forget how to spell it. =)

The time you went to work part time for the first time. Remember how much you suffered and wanted to give up. Remember the pain. Oh, the days when Hakka and Mandarin were both so alien to you. But you survived and I'm proud of you. =)

Oh, the many first times you've had these few years. The excitement, happiness, joy etc. You simply don't know how to describe them. They are all sweet memories you will remember for the rest of your life.=)

It's amusing sometimes how soft your heart can be, though? Why the goodness, why all the kindness? You know, sometimes you just have to take a stand. Oh, dear self, I know that sometimes it is hard but this isn't good you know. You've seen over and over again how others take advantage of you. You've been an eye-witness how people look for for whenever you have something they need, discarding you like a piece of rubbish the moment they don't need you. Remember how hurt you felt, but kept silence? You showed an as-if-I-care face but you know you do care. A lot, indeed. It is not the first time and it will not be the last time if you don't change. Please, I'm asking you.

Dear, there are times when you feel discarded. Not exactly lonely. Not exactly unhappy. Just some uneasiness. Cheer up, alright? =) i'm sure others do the same for the same feeling of insecurity. Just remember, this world is a race for the survival of the fittest. The more insecure people feel, the more they want to hurt others.

Self, I know you're missing home right now. I know that life is not that easy. But everytime you feel down, why not do some reflection and think of your achievements? They may not be something exteremely grand but you got it through your own hard work.

And you know what you want, don't you? And that's all you need to remember. =)

Me =)

P/s: Another new thing today, aerobics. Haha. Not the first time I do it but it is the first time in this uni. =) And it was fun. =)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


One should never underestimate how this world goes on. Life is full of surprises. And when you say surprises, it can be good, it can be bad. Certain surprises make you happy, other make you feel down.

But perhaps it is not how you react when you get to know these surprises but how you learn to handle them should they cross your path again. It is impossible to feel zero anger or there won't be a need for something called feelings.

Some things are unexpected but it is all within God's plan.

There are big surprises in the world too. Like the earthquake measuring 8.9 on the Ritcher's scale which happened in Japan, the earthquake before that in Wellington, New Zealand and now the constant fear of those living along the costal area for tsunami. Not forgetting those who are living in poverty all around the world. Those who live in war zone. The list in endless.

Everytime one feel that the whole world is going against them, perhaps all one need is too reflect on the less fortunate and one can feel the sense of gratitude. Perhaps one wil then realise that their obstacles are nothing compared to them.

I believe there's nothing wrong in reacting to these not-so-nice news but it is the action that matters.

Learn to be more of a snake next time. Learn to do the correct thing at the correct time. Maybe at that time, one will realize that life isn't that bad.

But all these requires patience, time and effort. Nothing comes without one giving nothing.

P/s: It was a bad reaction this morning. But I was really not satisfied with that. The skies have cleared. Thank God.

Thanks Raph, it is true. But I still need to learn. =)*hugs*

Monday, March 14, 2011

The flu bug fell in love with me.* credits to Raphael*

Raphael Ong, you must be proud to read the title! LOL.xPPP

Let’s start from the very beginning. It rained non-stop the whole week. Weird, no? Yes. This kind of weather just don’t exist at times like this.

Despite not having the fan staring at me, despite bundling up in my lovely, trusted jacket, despite hiding in my blankie in the night like a rabbit in a rabbit hole, the flu bug just absolutely love me. =.=

Okay, I’m making such a big fuss over a flu bug. It’s a bug, so it’s supposed to be small, right? And a big-sized person like should not make a big fuss over s small thing right?


This small thing, bug, germ whatsoever it is called is bad. It makes me feel so lethargic the whole day. All I want to do is sleep, sleep and sleep and sleep somemore. But as if that is applicable to the life here. I feel guiltyyyy for sleeping too much.

And the second part is called a second part for some reason. It’s like something occurs because of something. So, because the flu bug love me, it made me homesick. Being sick make me think of the comfort of home and mummy. =’(

Ah, so much for growing up and leaving home. Perhaps I was like that bird which already knew how to fly yet reluctant to leave the nest. Home is home. The best, only found at its original place. Irreplaceble, forever.

This bird wants to go back to sleep again.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

When my mind wonders...=)

Normal students have homeworks, more fondly known as assignments. I once think that the name assignments sound pretty cool. But that was when I was like a primary school kid, no?

Ask me now and I won’t say that it is cool. Haha. But I don’t hate all my assignments, only certain ones. One assignment that I actually like ( some people might hate me for saying this) is writing speeches for Public Speaking class assessment! *beams* Don’t get me wrong here, I just like the writing part, I’m still struggling for the presenting part.

Sometimes I felt like I’ve took a wrong course. But sometimes I don’t feel so. So actually I’m still unsure where my heart actually lies. I love language. Over the years, I discovered that I can grasp languages pretty fast. I love reading and writing. I love bombastic and flowery languages. Quotes, poems, stories and novel are things that I can spend hours on.
But no, I’ve been brought up in a traditional family. This simple means that I’m expected to do well in my studies, minus the extra co-curriculum activities, not getting involved in a relationship while studying ( I think I was recently lifted of this ban, no difference also lah. xP), take a course which will ensure me a stable and steady job and income in the future, etc. There isn’t anything bad but it just means that I do not have the choice to actually do what I want. Maybe I should have went on to study journalism, social sciences, communication, public relations or something like that?

On the other hand, I like science too. I don’t hate maths either, I’m just not good with numbers. I pretty much liked biology. Interest in chemistry and learning to love it was cultivated just a few years ago. And I don’t mind hovering over them for hours either. Not bad actually, apart from the fact, I don’t really score well for them. xP

It’s just randomly I would wonder whether I actually took the correct course of my life. Did I steer the ship to the correct destination? Did I put on fertilizers on the correct plant? Did I or did I not?

Absurb isn’t it, to ask such a question two years after I’ve been in uni. Actually no, this is not the first time I’ve asked myself this question.

Apparently, I have not found the answer. People out there, can someone answer me, please?

I’m not a really religious person. Theoretically, I’m a Buddhist. But a banana often went for Buddhist class and came back without any knowledge on Buddhism. But I believe in God and His plans for me. So I assure myself that God’s plan is beautiful, with no flaws and everything which happens now is all within his plan and estimation.

“When God calls you to do something, he enables you to do it”

I’m not sure whether I will ever know the answer. Only time can tell. But at the end of my life, I would like to stand before God and say, “Thank you God, for I’ve used all the talent that you’ve given me. “

P/s: De-stressing today went well. Lunch at UK-Loh, Big momma, steamboat for dinner, sing-k and everything in between. Laughter was the main menu. =) Ellie is one happy girl.

Popped two pills, bundles in a jacket, flu-bug please go away.

Still, happiness rules. =)

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Morning, peeps!=)

Ah, such a beautiful weather this morning. The week long rain has eased but it's low temperature and the smell of the rain still lingers around. Refreshing isn't it? On a saturday morning!=)

It certainly lift the weekend mood up!*beams*

Avril Lavigne once said,“I'm just coming out and I'm going to clearly be myself - I write what I feel, I never worry what others think.” How true it is. Sometimes one cared too much on the impressions that one leave on others, that one failed to let herself/himself shine. Too much of insecurity, too much of the comfort zone, too much on what-will-others-think. Or is it just the Asian culture? We were brought up to listen to advices on the elder. often, our views are not accepted simply because of the length of time we existed on this earth. But, no. In the now era, we need more than just following others. It's not an easy step. I myself, for one is still timid. But I hope to overcome this timidity. =) Wish me luck, guys.

I used to think that happiness means having things that one want or wish to have. But as I've added the years to my life and came out of the cocoon to look at the world, I realized that it was one big hell of a wrong perception I had. “Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.” I've now learnt to look beyond the imperfection of others. I've learn to keep what makes me happy and stay away from what makes me unhappy. I've no longer allowed the surrounding to affect me, my mood and my happiness. Especially the way I walk my life. As long as I do no wrong to others, I do not hurt others.

"The amount of happiness that you have depends on the amount of freedom you have in your heart."
Let go of the anger, the fear, the sadness and hatred in your heart. Let your heart breath and feel the surrounding. And let the positive vibes enter and keep you happy. =)

Have a great and happy day for everyday is a great day, if you want it to be. =)

Friday, March 11, 2011

In this world...=)

" A friend is someone who knows you and loves you just the same"

A familiar quote isn't it? We are all humans and we all have defects. It is these defects that make us unique. There's only one YOU in this world and not anyone else can be YOU.

Sometimes our defects hurts others. And we constantly strive to be better, to change our ways, to learn to adapt and to learn to accomodate others. But in this process, no matter how hard we try, we won't be able to please everyone.Hence, we should learn to be ourselves. No doubt, this is easier said that done.

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."

It is not easy to just be ourselves. Afterall, how do we define being ourselves? Ever since we were young, our upbringing were influenced by our family, friends and surroundings.

But perhaps, being ourselves is just as simple as making up our own mind and do what we really want and not what others want us to do.

In making a decision of what we want to have for our meals, what we wanna do for our free time, who do we plan to mix with etc. All these small litle acts actually means a lot. They can be the stepping stone for each and every one of us to be who we are. =)

Perhaps it is the feeling of insecurity that lead us to follow our surroundings. But look on the bright side, you're not the only one feeling insecure.

"Like the sky opens after a rainy day we must open to ourselves.... Learn to love yourself for who you are and open so the world can see you shine."

When you shine is when you are truly being yourself. Of course, when one shine, there will be other who dislike the limelight you're shinning in. Should we care?

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

There are others who are true to you, who will support you and walk with you. Rare they are, but existing they do.

"I hope we'll be friends forever, together we'll always be. I don't think you understand just how much you mean to me. And one day when we part our ways, we'll think back to the past and think about how happy we are 'cause our friendship will always last."=)

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Just for you:)

Have you ever looked forward towards a conversation, be in in virtual life or reality?

Have you ever want to talk to someone, but there’s not a need for it?

Have you ever felt that for whatever that happens, some people just cross your mind on the first place whether you like it or not?

Have you ever treasure the words one say and hang on to it?

It’s funny how some people come by your life and make such a large impact, no? Those times are certainly the best moments of a life whether or not you know the reason why it gives you such an impact. They certainly bring smiles and laughters, adding the sunshine for a flower to bloom. 

But it’s funny how certain things go as anonymously as how they come. And the sinking feeling it gives one when one realize that those moments will no longer reappear nor repeat itself. And the dumb feeling it gives when one look back and think of how before accepting the fact that it Is gone, one try to hang on to it.

After a little while, one will realize that this is the REALITY that everyone faced. This is the world outside that everyone tries to avoid but somehow some of us just fall into the trap. It’s okay, time heals many wounds. Scars it will leave. Be it as the beautiful memories that once gave you hope, be it the lesson to not be gullible in the future, be it a gentle reminder as we take the steps in the future.

Like footprints in the moon, it’ll never leave.

P/s: It has been awhile now. This post is dedicated to you, bro.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

A new sport! ;)

Yesterday I promised my roommate to go for squash with her.

Today, I learnt a new sport. And it was not bad. =)

Squash. I've never played it before. All I ever did was watch the game on televison. Never did I know that I will have the chance to play it as well.

It was more or less same as badminton, apart from the fact that you're playing against the wall with a partner. And the ball is round and one will need more strength compared to badminton. There isn't much ball chasing as the court is kinda small.

But it doesn't mean that it is easy either. I can serve ok now. But I don't really catch the ball right. Haha... But I guess it's okay, since it was my first time playing. Am looking forward to more games in the future. =)

P/s: Ellie is anticipating muscle pain on her right hand tomorrow. =p

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

End of FB hiatus, Beginning of Something New

My short FB hiatus has came to an end. It was a short one but a memorable one. It gave me the time to think and debate with myself several issues that had been bugging me. I may not have totally found all the solutions but there are improvements. =)

Whether FB is a place to socialize or a place for others to show off or even a place for certain people to show how good they are at discriminating people, pretending to turn up fine and happy in front, will no longer be an issue to me.

God sees everything, God hears everything, God knows everything.

For simple piety things like those, I rather not know too much.

But it doesn't stop me from missing certain people in my life. I miss those moments in which I could say something and not have people staring blankly at me, giving those erm-what-are-you-saying kind of look. I miss having the kulats with me, joking and laughing, and helping each other in studies. I miss the competitiveness of my class, although it was rather stressful. I miss Raphael and his treat of kolo mee every week, maths tutoring, jokes and weekly walk to the bus stop. I miss the times when my friends and I were rather obsess with badminton and played every wednesday.

They were the good memories. And I'm here to build new sweet and beautiful memories. I want to be able to say the same things about my memories here after I've graduated. I want the hurt, sadness and tears to be erased. =)

But it will be tough. I guess we all know that matters of the heart are not the same like writtings on the a paper. I will try and I trust that I can.

Sometimes, a certain level of self esteem is needed to go on in this life. =)

P/s: Ellie should probably go see a doctor when she goes back to her hometown. Oh well,that's something two months later. Probably in this two months period, the matter has already been resolved. =p