Thursday, March 17, 2011

Letter to Oneself

Dear Self,

How are things going on? Time lapsed so swiftly. In more than a month, you can return home once again. But in the meantime, keep yourself happy, work hard and stay healthy. I'm glad the flu bug has left you, for good. =)

Self, you know, for no specific reason, I would think of certain memorable incidents. Nothing special triggered it. I could be just on my way down the stairs and it just popped up in my mind. Fascinating how the mind works, eh?

The other day,I though of the hurt you felt 3 years ago. Had it really been that long? But you did well, getting over it, didn't you? Sure it took you time but at least you did it. It wasn't something worth hovering over. But at least you learnt something.

Did you realized that you once had a phobia on phone calls? You simply couldn't get over it at that time. You hated hearing the phone ringing and hate it even more when you hear the same ring tone. Terror just overcame you. However, I'm glad now, you're no longer afraid of it.

Oh, how about big-sized guys with dyed hair? I'm sure it will remain part of your life although they won't have such a bad reaction on you now. They are not all the same. The bad guys have left your life, so don't worry. =)

Remember the wonderful year you had when you were in Form 3? Excellent teachers, World Red Cross Day Mass Parade, Food and Fun Fair, the best person you've ever sat with and near perfect scores, nothing could beat them, right? How I wish I could repeat it again, ya know.

And the tears you've shed over your studies. You cried your heart out when you missed an "A." You cried too when you got all your "As." And when you couldn't understand Geography. Oh, and in Form 6, when you simply never passed Chemistry exam. But nothing could ever erase one particular memory. You were five-years-old that time. It was a Sunday and you forgot you had a English spelling test the next day and you cried. Daddy came to rescue and slowly taught you how to spell. CHO-CO-LATE was the first word, you'll never forget how to spell it. =)

The time you went to work part time for the first time. Remember how much you suffered and wanted to give up. Remember the pain. Oh, the days when Hakka and Mandarin were both so alien to you. But you survived and I'm proud of you. =)

Oh, the many first times you've had these few years. The excitement, happiness, joy etc. You simply don't know how to describe them. They are all sweet memories you will remember for the rest of your life.=)

It's amusing sometimes how soft your heart can be, though? Why the goodness, why all the kindness? You know, sometimes you just have to take a stand. Oh, dear self, I know that sometimes it is hard but this isn't good you know. You've seen over and over again how others take advantage of you. You've been an eye-witness how people look for for whenever you have something they need, discarding you like a piece of rubbish the moment they don't need you. Remember how hurt you felt, but kept silence? You showed an as-if-I-care face but you know you do care. A lot, indeed. It is not the first time and it will not be the last time if you don't change. Please, I'm asking you.

Dear, there are times when you feel discarded. Not exactly lonely. Not exactly unhappy. Just some uneasiness. Cheer up, alright? =) i'm sure others do the same for the same feeling of insecurity. Just remember, this world is a race for the survival of the fittest. The more insecure people feel, the more they want to hurt others.

Self, I know you're missing home right now. I know that life is not that easy. But everytime you feel down, why not do some reflection and think of your achievements? They may not be something exteremely grand but you got it through your own hard work.

And you know what you want, don't you? And that's all you need to remember. =)

Me =)

P/s: Another new thing today, aerobics. Haha. Not the first time I do it but it is the first time in this uni. =) And it was fun. =)

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