Thursday, March 29, 2012


This week was supposed to be a busy week. I was supposed to have 3 mid terms and a competition and a proposal to hand it. I was supposed to.

But the supposedly supposed to happen things didn't happen. Well, not all of them. I had one mid term and the competition. The other two mid terms got postponed till after mid term break. Hmm.

Well, the competition was a research conpetition. CITREX in short for Creation, Innovation, Technology and Research Exposition. The only reason I entered was because of my supervisor of my final year project. But it was a wonderful experience. It was interesting to be part of a exhibition that showcase so many different and new research projects. It was a new experience to present a research project. Plus, it was the first time I got permission to not attend lectures. Haha.. xP

And the bronze medal was a bonus. :)))) I mustn't forget to include that this won't be possible without the help of my supervisor, Dr. Chong, my teammates Rubaiyi, Singying and Yelljing.

And now, the mid semester break is here. Coursemates are going home, so are the roommates. It is going to be quiet.

On an unrelated event. Just a thought.

This thing called life is an interesting roller  coaster. One will never know how it bends, where it bends and what makes it bends. One can never see what is coming for one would be too busy to be dealing with the on-going. But as time passes, as one is handling the on-goings, one start to learn. To learn how to prepare for the 'ifs' in the future regardless of whether we expect or not the in-coming. To learn to adapt, like a chameleon. To learn to survive whether there is anyone looking after your back. For everyone is busy dealing with their own problem. It is not anyone's fault should one fail to live a proper life. It is no one's obligation to please another , to babysit another, to care for another like a fragile,little newborn baby. Caring as a friend is one thing. Babysitting is another thing. There is a distinct line between those two. Another thing one would learn throughout the journey of life is to learn to reflect. To reflect when something goes wrong. To reflect and find the proper way out. Denying that anything to be one's fault never solve anything. It only make things worst. Learn to accept that sometimes we are the one at the wrong party and to learn how to fix  it is the best way. It is not easy. But so is everything else in life. Nothing is easy. We just learn to accept and get on with our way.

I is going on a little industrial trip tomorrow. I is excited. :)))

Monday, March 26, 2012

#23 Under the weather

I hate Kuantan in April more than Kuantan in December. Maybe because I'm more of a rain person compared to a sun person? I dunno for sure, but I hate this sticky feeling eventhough I've showered five times today. If UMP is to face water crisis, I'm pretty sure I'm one of those to be blame. Plus, the weather makes me feel under the weather too. Getting the flu second time is 6 weeks is like, a new record I think. Lol. Now my voice sounds weird. Like a cat that gagged on a bone. A chicken bone.

Okay, enough babbling. Time to get back to reading anything that has to do with the three mid terms this week or something to do with presentation. Gosh, I dunno what am I supposed to present anyway.

Hmm, I would be extremely happy after thurs morning. I bet my coursemates would feel the same too. xP

Friday, March 23, 2012

#22 In times like these...

It is at times like this, one feels the frustration. The frustration of not having enough time, the frustration of why I couldn't do the test, the frustration of why must the lecturer gave tips that did not appear on the test paper, the frustration of why must there be such a packed schedule of mid term tests and so on. The list is endless.

But at the same time, I'm happy to be busy. I'm happy to be having things to do, although there might be too many of them. On this day next year, I wouldn't have this to complain even if I want to. I prefer to just adsorb in all the busy-ness and remember each moment of them. If only I can help stop feeling so cranky when I don't have enough sleep, it would be just perfect.

The mid-sem break is approaching, barely a week away. On this day next week, I'll be in the room alone. But I will be off to KL to visit a friend and the KL date we promised each other will soon materialize. Another reason to smile at life.

I saw a kitty sleeping next to its mummy yesterday. The innocent look kitties possess never fail to melt my heart. :)))

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

#21 The Sixth Week

Not too soon, the sixth week is here. Which indicates mid terms are coming. 30% of my final grade are from mid term. In fact, one of them is barely three days away. And I'm not prepared.

On top of mid terms to worry and strive for, there are so many other things to deal with. Study wise and personal stuff. And somehow I've come to terms with all these weird things jumping out and scarying me like what the ghosts in horror movies do.

All I can do is grumble, complain and after that just accept that how much I dislike them popping out that way, they are here to stay. Yet there are also things that after I listened, I can just bury them deep down in my heart. I hope that they are biodegradable and they will rot and go away.

But I'm not a four-year-old kid. I know that they are there to stay. They are there to constantly remind me of their existence. They may fade a little. But they are like spores. Once provoked in the condition that they like they appear right in front of your eyes. They are there to haunt me forever.

Sometimes, I'm not sure whether these things are making me more and more heartless. I no longer have the patience to care bout teeny weeny things. I no longer bother bout things that do not concern me. I begin to defend myself more, refusing myself to get hurt anymore. Am I turning more heartless? I do not know, confused indeed. But who to clear my confusion. I wonder whether I am doing the right things, whether I am doing things right.

Next week is a tough week. Three mid terms. Dear God, please help this tiny people get through everything. Please clear my mind and my confusion. Thank you.

Friday, March 16, 2012

#20 After a long long day...

Over the phone with dad.
 Me: I want hug hug. :(
 Dad: Haha... Now only March. *in the background* Mum laughing loudly. Bubble meowing. 

Damn, I need a hug and I wanna hug my cat. Sigh.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

#19 Doubt

" To your enemies, forgiveness.
  To an opponent, tolerance.
  To a friend, faith.
  To all, charity.
  To a person in need, kindness.
  To your family, love.
  To yourself, respect."

It is indeed a list of needed things to complement a life. It is indeed something so obvious yet so naked to the eyes.
Thy self confused, thy brain is tired and thy just want to have something normal to happen.

Friday, March 9, 2012

#17 ....Lovely surprise. :)

It was a great day. I enjoyed today's class, played a prank on a friend with another friend, went to the lab to start the first step of my final year project and went back to the room to be greeted envelope I had been waiting for ages and failed to find it. And it's here! :) 

Well, it's supposed to be a Christmas card, but who cares when I received it?
Thankie, dear Raph! :)

Thursday, March 8, 2012

#17 Just like a cloud

Random arguments, long conversations, jokes, tickles and random battles. 

It was like the cloud shielding me. The cloud just rained and got blow away by typhoon. 

Monday, March 5, 2012

#16 Just like a circle. :)

When I was a little girl, my parents have always told me to be independent. They told me not to rely on others for anything as the only person we can always rely on is ourselves.
But parents being parents, when we are with them, there is little chance, if any for independency. They fuss over you over the slightest thing such as what you wear when you go out. They fuss over whether you eat your meals or not, fearing that you will be starved. They fuss over when you get cold at night for not covering youself with the blanket.

And at that time, I think there are certain times when some of us grumble over the over-fussing. We want to have a say in the way we lead our lives. We think that we are grown ups, enough to do all those so called simple things by ourselves.

But years later, when we are finally away from the nest, when we are supposed to be real grown ups, when we are expected to be independent, all those cravings to be grown ups have long ago subside.

We whine over what to eat for our meals, we whine over what to wear, we whine over having to do everything by ourselves. So much for wanting to grow up fast ten years ago.

And we begin to learn to direct ourselves. We begin to decide which is the direction we want to take. It's like driving in car in the city and certain roads aren't that smooth and at that very moment, we have to take another course. We learn. And we become smarter.

If we start to be away from home, we learn to seek relieve from homesickness. We learn to be patient and ask the want-to-be-home feeling to stay and emerge till the end of the semester. We learn to do what we are supposed to do in the meantime without having mum or dad yelling at the top of their lungs.

We make friends. And friends being those who are undergoing the same transformations as us are our closest guide. They become our partner, partner-in-crime.

At the same time, we learn to soak everything else from life. To love. To care. To laugh. To have joy.
And it is what that makes everything complete. Like a circle.

Sure, there are times where one feel despair. At times like that, cry. But do not wallow in self pity. Dry your tears and pick yourself up and continue walking.

There will be a time when you reach the end, with a good ending. Just like a circle.:)

Saturday, March 3, 2012

##15 The flu bug came visiting.

Down with flu again. If it is during the holiday, I won't mind so much. As I have all the time in the world to sleep. 

I've got a proposal to write, there is no time for me to sleep as much as I want to.
Flu bug, go away. 

Thursday, March 1, 2012

#14 I can see it.

For a very long time, my view has been cloudy. Maybe greyish white, I'm not so sure. I walk along blindly. From time to time, I bumped into things, I tripped over steps.

I wonder what it feels like to be able to view it. I wonder what does it looks like, the view I want to see. I wonder when it is, the suitable time for the view to be revealed to me.

For the simple reason, I believe in the plan planned for me. I believe in miracles.

Finally now, I can see it, the path I'm walking, the direction I'm going and I will pursue it violently.

You know the feeling when you had a conversation with another and many months later, you feel the scene replay before you? You see the truth in the words of another. That deja vu feeling, I've been having it lately. Good in a way, bad in another. I think maybe in a ratio of 75:25. :)