It's 2.22 am. I'm cold. I'm alone in the airport. And the most important thing is, I can't sleep.
I used to be soooo good in sleeping. Especially during journeys. In buses, cars, planes. But today, I didn't.*wails* That's kinda a first time for me. Miserable first time though. But still, I think it deserves a mention in my blog post. Lol.
After sitting on the bench looking around pointlessly, I ended up taking out my lappie. I decided to write something. It has been awhile since I really wrote anything personal in my blog. Perhaps I still can't over the anxiety of putting out my personal life in public.
I dunno what to write actually.
Listening to Tim Ellis's "Eternally Yours" , perhaps I would talk about relationships.
For the longest time I could remember, this had been and still is the most interesting topic among my friends. We're always curious about what's going on with who and who, who's together with who. That was how it was in high school and it didn't differ much when I went to uni. Only the stories got more interesting. Lol.
Only I wasn't in one. And it didn't occur to me that I would be in one at a time like this. Simply because I'm still studying. My biggest reason would be I myself doesn't know where I would settle down or even when I will end up studying, how can involve another in my unstable life? I don't even know whether I'll be jobless when I graduate from graduate school. Lol.
Little did I know, certain things aren't in my control.
I got to know L when I was undergoing industrial training. He worked at the Production department and I got to do a brief stint of training at production department. He was the very first member of the production department that I got to know on my first day there.
The very heavy rain on the day that was supposed to be my last day in production turned everything around. It was raining very heavily, I couldn't take the bus and I had no other mean of transport. I was feeling very helpless because I didn't know how could I go home.At that time he offered to send me home.
After that one time, he continued to send me home everyday for the rest of my industrial training period. I was kinda amazed with his persistent. Lol.
L is the complete opposite of me. We have a huge age gap, different race and different religion. He's super quiet. And I guess he is the most good tempered person I've ever met. And I'm not exactly the easiest person to live with.
Perhaps it's due to all these "opposite-ness" that I accepted him. It's always calm with him and I can complain and talk as much as I want (he enjoy listening me talk or so he says.LOL.). But his quietness makes him a little hard to understand. He veryyy seldom talk about himself. So I had to figure out my own way to understand him
Things aren't smooth sailing as always. I was never in a relationship, I didn't know how to make a relationship work. Many times in the first few months of our relationship, I thought of giving up. I thought of telling him that we wouldn't work out and we should just let go. Somehow, I never. But I won't deny the thought crossed my mind, several times.
Graduate school had been a rocky journey as well. I was new, there weren't any seniors around to help me out and I was scared of my research not working out. For the first few months when my experiments failed, I would return to the hostel, climbed into my bed and bawl my eyes out. Whenever I got pissed off with anyone, most of the times,I end up in tears too. He had been there most of times, staying by the phone while I cried my eyes out.
He always the one who's treating me very nicely.Except now, coz I'm alone and freezing in the airport. He's in dreamland at home. So unfair. And according to a beloved Butt, I'm not that nice to him. Lol.
Till now, I'm not sure if this will ever work out for me or for him. But so far, I'm glad he came into my life. Together with my musketeer friends, they are my pillar of life. I know I can count by them.
Even if in the future, our relationship doesn't not work out, I hope that this post will serve as a reminder to me on the wonderful people that came into my life. :)
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Monday, May 19, 2014
I'm going home tomorrow! But I'm at the airport now. Sucks to have to stay overnight at the airport alone with only free wifi to accompany you.
Hmm, actually it was only bout 3 months ago when I went home for Chinese New Year. But I miss home, Kuching food, my cats and my bf. I went online, checked Airasia's fare and voila! cheap-enough-flights-for-poor-students-like-me. And I booked it. Tickets both ways cost me about Rm136. xD
This morning I went to lab as usual. Did some work. And took the bus at 4pm. After taking the monorail and another bus, I finally reached the airport, the brand new KLIA2. Lols. The first thing I hunted for was, the toilet. Lol. And I sure love the toilet. Big, clean, dry. xD
Now I dunno what to do. I got approximately 6 hours till I go in the gate.
Oh, not forgetting, I've got AWESOME friends.
One called me during lunch hour just to wish me a safe journey and another texted me about the same time the first friend called. Guess we're not called three musketeers for nothing eyhh? xD
I love you guys so much! hehehehehe... xD
Friday, May 16, 2014
It's amazing how the final year project (fyp) students under my guidance could drive me up the wall.
And today they did it again. I kinda lose my temper, slightly.
I was trying very very hard to understand that they are only fyp students, so they are new, there are lots of things they weren't exposed to etc.
Back to what they did today.
First of all, they come to lab extremely unprepared. Most of the time, they come to me with empty hands, without their log books or any reference journals. Well, this is acceptable,IF, they have everything they need to do at the tip of their finger or they've fully absorb the details in their brain. But no, they come to me empty handed and just expect me to tell them what they are supposed to do.
I told one of them to dissolve her material in a solvent and sonicate it for 1 hour. Guess what she did after dissolving the material? She stood by the sonicator and waited for God knows what until I said, " what are you waiting for? Put it into the sonicator."
Two, they are not initiative. If I don't tell them when they are supposed to do what, they'll just keep quiet and wait. Okay, maybe this is still categorized under the-still-new-not-sure-what's-going-on problem. Maybe this can still be forgiven.
Since the very beginning of time, I've told them that for research, it is a MUST to read lots of journals. Yes, they may still be new and will not fully understand what they read. But at least make the effort to read. Sad to say, after four months (they started in February), they sent me a copy of their proposal for proof reading and the literature in it was just up to whatever I told them to read.
They learned how to do two of the characterizations today. When I asked them at which wavelength would they anticipate the peak to appear, NONE of them could tell me an answer. *facepalms* It is a very general characterization where there are A LOT of literature are available. Plus this is not a new characterization to them, they have had encounters with this instrument during their studies. Sigh. For this, I'm very very disappointed la.
I do not want to spoonfeed them. I want them to have the experience of doing proper research work. So that they can have the freedom of learning and at the end of the day, I hope they'll reap the fruits of their hardwork and feel the accomplishment.
But it seems like it's not working.
Should I just spoon feed them? Send them journals to read? Set them a timetable? Tell them what to do step by step?
I really dunno.
I'm going on leave for nearly a week next week. I wonder, will they just wait until I come back to proceed with their work?
Thursday, May 15, 2014
I'm back on blogspot. Although I know very well that very few actually read whatever crappy things that I post here. Anyways, previously I moved on to blog on wordpress.com. But apparently due to some unavoidable circumstances it seems that that blog is gone. So I was thinking perhaps I should just come back and blog over here.Yeah, that was what I decided like 5 minutes ago.
Hence the updated background. Lots of floral. Lots of pinkish reddish. So me-ish. LOLS. As if there is such a word. Yupp, when I have more time I'll explore more and hopefully make it looks better (I know veryyyy well my skills sucks big time). xP
Hmm, actually I haven't been blogging much. Blame it on lab work or the journal readings or the manuscript writing. The truth is I've been procrastinating, a lot. So not me. Tsk tsk tsk. I should really find the drive to kickstart my engine back again. Vrooomm vrooommm vrooommm. LOLS.
Anyways, it's good to be back I guess. Everything happens for a reason. So here I am. And hopefully I'll procrastinate less, update more about my boring life. LOLS.
That's all, byeeeee! xD