Tuesday, December 16, 2014

I've practically abandoned this blog. Making nearly zero effort to update it because 1) I do not live a very eventful life. 2) I update everything on Dayre already what's the purpose of having two blogs,right? Afterall I'm not living an eventful life. 

Yeah, reading my sentence has already indicate how eventful my life is. Even my sentences aren't very interesting. 
But today I'm writing here because I just wrote a quite motivational post on Dayre and it'll make the whole post look odd if suddenly something sad is there. Okay, not sad. Just, not happy. 

I don't even wanna go into the whole thing. I feel like I don't even know which part is the main part anyways. I'm just feeling pretty down. Actually I've been feeling down for a few days and I guess that one part just now is like the final match to the whole puzzle that make me wanna cry ? 

Even talking to him doesn't help because he isn't exactly interested in things he don't understand. In fact, talking to him tonight only made me feel sadder because I was expecting him to do better in cheering me up. 

Yea, I guess the main point is, I'm not living up to my own expectation. And you know when does one feel most disappointed? It's when you're not living up to your expectation. Your own, not someone else's. 

And what exactly is my own expectation? I like to have things within my control, within expectations. I hate insecurities, uncertainties and I dunno what else. 

Right now in my life, I've got so much uncertainties and insecurities, all I wanna do is bury a hole and hide in it. 

God knows why I'm spending time writing this.