tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69380531685686425922023-11-16T21:19:41.542+08:00Eh-LeeThe (not so) exciting journey of a postgraduate student who loves everything pinkish and furry. Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.comBlogger211125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-49496354980966775472014-12-16T22:46:00.002+08:002014-12-16T22:46:26.124+08:00I've practically abandoned this blog. Making nearly zero effort to update it because 1) I do not live a very eventful life. 2) I update everything on Dayre already what's the purpose of having two blogs,right? Afterall I'm not living an eventful life. <div>
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Yeah, reading my sentence has already indicate how eventful my life is. Even my sentences aren't very interesting. </div>
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But today I'm writing here because I just wrote a quite motivational post on Dayre and it'll make the whole post look odd if suddenly something sad is there. Okay, not sad. Just, not happy. </div>
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I don't even wanna go into the whole thing. I feel like I don't even know which part is the main part anyways. I'm just feeling pretty down. Actually I've been feeling down for a few days and I guess that one part just now is like the final match to the whole puzzle that make me wanna cry ? </div>
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Even talking to him doesn't help because he isn't exactly interested in things he don't understand. In fact, talking to him tonight only made me feel sadder because I was expecting him to do better in cheering me up. </div>
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Yea, I guess the main point is, I'm not living up to my own expectation. And you know when does one feel most disappointed? It's when you're not living up to your expectation. Your own, not someone else's. </div>
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And what exactly is my own expectation? I like to have things within my control, within expectations. I hate insecurities, uncertainties and I dunno what else. </div>
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Right now in my life, I've got so much uncertainties and insecurities, all I wanna do is bury a hole and hide in it. </div>
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God knows why I'm spending time writing this. </div>
Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-61997764885123635902014-11-26T01:04:00.001+08:002014-11-26T01:04:10.012+08:00<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Dear 24-year-old me, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Today is the day I
bade my farewell to you. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Today is the day I legally can no longer proudly exclaim to everyone, “I’m
twenty four only!”</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
In actual fact, today is just another day. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just that magically, I had to plus one to twenty four.</div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
It had been a
rollercoaster year isn’t it? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
We started off high. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“Graduation” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Yes, finally after
years of education, you earned that piece of paper, enjoyed the few minutes of
fame on stage receiving the scroll and realized that omg, graduation day was
such a tiring day. Nevertheless, you’re still happy you made it. You can tell
people you have a degree. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
In fact graduation
wasn’t an ending. It was a commencement. To a more adventurous future. <o:p></o:p></div>
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“Postgraduate” <o:p></o:p></div>
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</div>
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You promised your sv
you would come back after intern and be his slave in the lab. </div>
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You kept your promise and became his slave.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You realize just sunk your feet into one lonely journey doing the thing you
love.</div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
And you discovered 16
hours in the lab was possible. Plus there weren’t any ghost in the lab when you
overnight there. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
“Relationship” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Postgrad may be a
lonely journey but you discovered someone who was willing to be by your side. </div>
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Who checked on you umpteenth times a day, even after a year. </div>
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Who lend his ears to your horrible cries when your experiment failed and your
furball died. </div>
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Who shared his shoulder for you to bite just because you felt like doing so.</div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
“Others” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
You made use of your talkativeness,
up-ed your courage and joined “Three minute thesis competition.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
With consolation
prize, you even saved some money from groceries. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
It had been a great
year, twenty-four-year-old me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Hello, twenty five
year old me. <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ansi-language: EN-MY; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-45141162374060405822014-11-24T23:37:00.000+08:002014-11-24T23:37:53.869+08:00Goodbye, furball darlingDear furball,<br />
<br />
Your arrival on 22 Sept, 2014 was totally unexpected. Simply because we didn't know Mummy Milky was pregnant.<br />
<br />
Together with your three other siblings, you guys brought us mixture of emotions.<br />
Suprised as we weren't expecting you.<br />
Excitement as it had been a long time since we had baby kitties.<br />
Anxiousness as we're afraid how Bubble will cope with your existence.<br />
<br />
Yet we gladly receive your presence.<br />
<br />
From wet little things which we couldn't even decipher your exact colour, to wobbly kitties and finally a little monkey with beautiful fur and bright blue eyes, you've bought joy and laughter to us.<br />
<br />
To our delight, Bubble love you too. Your presence changed her from a grumpy cat to a super manja cat who was afraid she'll lose our attention to you. She delightfully offers her treasured box to you and licks you lovingly. In fact, you look so much like her, people actually thought that you were her offspring.<br />
<br />
I'm glad I made that trip home to see you.<br />
You stole my heart from the moment I set my eyes upon you.<br />
You loved to be cuddled and needless to say from a bunch of monkeys, you were the most gentle and fragile looking one.<br />
While others just somehow swing their way up to the upper compartment of the cage, you used the stairs.<br />
I've no regrets over the hundreds of ringgits I spend on you guys.<br />
Coz money couldn't buy the joy and happiness you brought me.<br />
<br />
Because that was the first six days I spent with you.<br />
The days I spent gaga-ing over you.<br />
And those were the only days I spent with you.<br />
<br />
My only regret is I didn't have the means to bring you up healthy and well.<br />
<br />
Turning a quarter of a decade old in two days time, I thought I'll be able to handle your leaving well. How wrong was I.<br />
<br />
I love you, furball.<br />
And someday I'll see you again in the clouds.<br />
<br />
Rest in peace.Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-52995830959644853432014-07-01T20:46:00.002+08:002014-07-01T20:46:47.078+08:00Woes of a Postgraduate Student #3 Of Self-correction<div style="text-align: center;">
Yesterday was 30th June 2014. The last day of June. The day before we start off the other half of 2014. And a challenging day indeed. </div>
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It was the last day to submit the full paper for a conference that I'll be joining in August. I've sent it for my sv to look through it and correct it a month ago. Up till yesterday morning, I've not receive any reply from my sv. Hence, I sent him an email, asking him about it. </div>
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I was expecting him to reply with the corrected version. </div>
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Instead, this was what I got. </div>
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"Just submit it. I don't have time to look through it." </div>
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My reaction: </div>
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HOMAIGOD.</div>
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@.@</div>
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So I spent the next few hours reading, re-reading and re-reading my paper. </div>
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Trying to correct my grammar, thinking whether what I wrote made sense and being paranoid because I wrote over the limit, I was lost on which part I should cut out. </div>
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And even after I've read for the n-times, I was still not confident of my work. </div>
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Sigh. </div>
Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-48563204257280456382014-06-21T00:24:00.002+08:002014-06-21T00:24:54.355+08:00#2 Woes of Postgraduate student: HEART ATTACK<div style="text-align: center;">
Yours truly went out happily for lunch followed by tea break at Secret Receipe with the roomie. Well, my ex-roomie but I still address her as roomie. Lunch was at the chap fun shop as usual, where I had rice with dunno-call-what vege and steamed egg with mince pork. Then at Secret Receipe I had a slice of chocolate cheesecake and a glass of apricot and orange slushie. Super happy or my tummy was the one super happy packing away all the fats lah. </div>
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Anywas, I came back to lab then the boyfriend called. So I answered the call at the lab where I usually do my labwork. </div>
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Was hovering around there when suddenly I realized, "WHERE DID MY OTHER VACUUM PUMP WENTTTT!????" </div>
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Started panicking because the pump cost about 1K. Went around the labs to search for it and asked around. Until one of the fyp student told me, "The other student took it to the other lab to use. "</div>
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=.= </div>
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Can don't give me heart attack or not har!?? My heart is very weak one. </div>
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Kinda pissed off at them for making me hunt for nothing. But I didn't want to scold them. In the end, I wrote and email asking them to inform me if they want to move the assests elsewhere. </div>
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Fuhh. End of heart attack. </div>
Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-74301167416492470892014-06-07T01:27:00.003+08:002014-06-07T01:27:48.740+08:00That Time of the MonthIt was the time of the month. And pain was anticipated, as usual. The me when to the work as usual. Slight discomfort but still bearable. Few hours later, I had to swallow my words. The pain's intensity increased and the me started to sweat, cold sweats.<br />
<br />
I knew where that discomfort would get me. Learning from previous 'blackout' epsisode, the me decided to head back to the hostel, to the comfort of the bed.<br />
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And yeah, I literally crawled back to the hostel.<br />
<br />
After popping painkillers and consumed a glass of hot ginger tea,the me climbed into bed and burried myself among my pillows and blanket.<br />
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*dejavu feeling*<br />
<br />
Was it just 2 years back when I was in a similar situation but with the musketeers with me?<br />
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It happened in the lab too. I remembered how they accompanied me to the clinic then back to my room and after that came over to check at me again.<br />
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At that moment, I really really miss them. Uni has never been the same without them, ever.<br />
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Yours truly was in pain, lack of company and really craving for some source of comfort. Which isn't exactly me. Since the me has always been quite independent.<br />
<br />
The lion not being around didn't help much either. In fact it made matters worse.<br />
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The next day when the lion came back into range, the me broke down over the phone. I was missing my besties THAT much. ;(Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-71079270418633190342014-06-02T01:38:00.002+08:002014-06-02T01:38:41.910+08:00Hello June! xD<div style="text-align: center;">
I've not being very hardworking in updating my blog. To be honest, most of the time, I write but I chickened out and the draft remained kept in the draft section. Sometimes I felt that what I wrote was a little tad too private. And posting it on my blog make me feel naked. Vulnerable. Like a de-skined chicken. Lol. </div>
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It's June. We're practically halfway through the year 2014. I felt that I need to do some sort of a review of my half year. Like how companies review the performance of the employee. Like how students have their first semester exams. I'm not working and I'm a student who do not have exams. Therefore, I shall review myself. Lol. </div>
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*warning, it might be a little biased* LOL. </div>
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First, how bout a little review of my current research?<br />
I started off 2014 with a little sour note on my research. I did A LOT of experiments. But none came out a success. It was only somewhere at the end of February I managed to *cough* out some results which is usable. </div>
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After that I had been struggling with the writing part.<br />
#realizedwritingissomuchharderthanexperimentalwork<br />
And I'm still struggling with it.<br />
Nevertheless, I finished writing a conference paper. And currently working on my manuscript for publication. By standards,the later is much harder.<br />
The are soooo many graphs to be plotted and analyzed. The later part is causing much confusion too. #midnightgraphwoes<br />
But I really really wanna write well, so I'm still working on it. </div>
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I have two more characterizations to do for this project. </div>
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So for June, I hope to able to finish them up and get good results for those characterizations. And ideas for new project, please come to meeeeee... Lol. </div>
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Next, about my erm, love life. hahahahaha... </div>
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Not exactly one topic I discussed openly very much here. </div>
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Well, the Lion is a very much reserved person. Don't talk much. Don't smile much. How in the world did I get into a relationship with him is still much of a mystery to myself. But over the months we've been together he has changed quite a bit too. </div>
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He knows how to smile now. Lol. But erm, much improvement is still needed in the talking department. xP<br />
But I think I've learnt a bit more about him.<br />
Something I realized about relationship. While it's good to have someone to be there for you; lend you a shoulder when you cry;listen to you when you complain;encouraged you when you face obstacles;shower you with attention, love and care all the time, the bad part is I feel like I've started to be more dependent on him.<br />
Where did the independent me went??? Hiding behind a tortoise shell? @.@<br />
I'm still much pretty myself. Being able to function properly without him, going on with my usual life and doing what I'm supposed to do. But I've started to feel more attached. Like how I feel attached to my Bubble.<br />
Good or not? I'm not sure. Let's see how much thing really goes.<br />
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Conclusion of review.<br />
The me should work harderrrr. Haha.<br />
Not entirely satisfied with my performance (for work) but I'm only human. There should be some rooms for improvements that exist.<br />
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Month of June, please be niceeee to meeee. xD I can't wait to end you happily. And I'll work harder to end you properly. Lol. Step 1, burn midnight oil on 1st June for manuscript writing. Haha. </div>
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<br />Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-65568282122843606322014-05-20T02:53:00.000+08:002014-05-20T03:13:47.771+08:00Of Airport and RelationshipIt's 2.22 am. I'm cold. I'm alone in the airport. And the most important thing is, I can't sleep.<br />
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I used to be soooo good in sleeping. Especially during journeys. In buses, cars, planes. But today, I didn't.*wails* That's kinda a first time for me. Miserable first time though. But still, I think it deserves a mention in my blog post. Lol.<br />
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After sitting on the bench looking around pointlessly, I ended up taking out my lappie. I decided to write something. It has been awhile since I really wrote anything personal in my blog. Perhaps I still can't over the anxiety of putting out my personal life in public.<br />
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I dunno what to write actually.<br />
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Listening to Tim Ellis's "Eternally Yours" , perhaps I would talk about relationships.<br />
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For the longest time I could remember, this had been and still is the most interesting topic among my friends. We're always curious about what's going on with who and who, who's together with who. That was how it was in high school and it didn't differ much when I went to uni. Only the stories got more interesting. Lol.<br />
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Only I wasn't in one. And it didn't occur to me that I would be in one at a time like this. Simply because I'm still studying. My biggest reason would be I myself doesn't know where I would settle down or even when I will end up studying, how can involve another in my unstable life? I don't even know whether I'll be jobless when I graduate from graduate school. Lol.<br />
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Little did I know, certain things aren't in my control.<br />
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I got to know L when I was undergoing industrial training. He worked at the Production department and I got to do a brief stint of training at production department. He was the very first member of the production department that I got to know on my first day there.<br />
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The very heavy rain on the day that was supposed to be my last day in production turned everything around. It was raining very heavily, I couldn't take the bus and I had no other mean of transport. I was feeling very helpless because I didn't know how could I go home.At that time he offered to send me home.<br />
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After that one time, he continued to send me home everyday for the rest of my industrial training period. I was kinda amazed with his persistent. Lol.<br />
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L is the complete opposite of me. We have a huge age gap, different race and different religion. He's super quiet. And I guess he is the most good tempered person I've ever met. And I'm not exactly the easiest person to live with. <br />
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Perhaps it's due to all these "opposite-ness" that I accepted him. It's always calm with him and I can complain and talk as much as I want (he enjoy listening me talk or so he says.LOL.). But his quietness makes him a little hard to understand. He veryyy seldom talk about himself. So I had to figure out my own way to understand him<br />
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Things aren't smooth sailing as always. I was never in a relationship, I didn't know how to make a relationship work. Many times in the first few months of our relationship, I thought of giving up. I thought of telling him that we wouldn't work out and we should just let go. Somehow, I never. But I won't deny the thought crossed my mind, several times.<br />
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Graduate school had been a rocky journey as well. I was new, there weren't any seniors around to help me out and I was scared of my research not working out. For the first few months when my experiments failed, I would return to the hostel, climbed into my bed and bawl my eyes out. Whenever I got pissed off with anyone, most of the times,I end up in tears too. He had been there most of times, staying by the phone while I cried my eyes out.<br />
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He always the one who's treating me very nicely.Except now, coz I'm alone and freezing in the airport. He's in dreamland at home. So unfair. And according to a beloved Butt, I'm not that nice to him. Lol. <br />
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Till now, I'm not sure if this will ever work out for me or for him. But so far, I'm glad he came into my life. Together with my musketeer friends, they are my pillar of life. I know I can count by them.<br />
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Even if in the future, our relationship doesn't not work out, I hope that this post will serve as a reminder to me on the wonderful people that came into my life. :)Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-32696784145508031482014-05-19T23:09:00.001+08:002014-05-19T23:10:08.803+08:00The Journey HomeI'm going home tomorrow! But I'm at the airport now. Sucks to have to stay overnight at the airport alone with only free wifi to accompany you.<br />
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Hmm, actually it was only bout 3 months ago when I went home for Chinese New Year. But I miss home, Kuching food, my cats and my bf. I went online, checked Airasia's fare and voila! cheap-enough-flights-for-poor-students-like-me. And I booked it. Tickets both ways cost me about Rm136. xD</div>
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This morning I went to lab as usual. Did some work. And took the bus at 4pm. After taking the monorail and another bus, I finally reached the airport, the brand new KLIA2. Lols. The first thing I hunted for was, the toilet. Lol. And I sure love the toilet. Big, clean, dry. xD </div>
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Now I dunno what to do. I got approximately 6 hours till I go in the gate. </div>
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Oh, not forgetting, I've got AWESOME friends. </div>
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One called me during lunch hour just to wish me a safe journey and another texted me about the same time the first friend called. Guess we're not called three musketeers for nothing eyhh? xD</div>
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I love you guys so much! hehehehehe... xD</div>
Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-39091963691913968322014-05-16T21:39:00.000+08:002014-05-16T21:39:14.568+08:00#1 Woes of a Postgraduate StudentIt's amazing how the final year project (fyp) students under my guidance could drive me up the wall. <div>
And today they did it again. I kinda lose my temper, slightly. </div>
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I was trying very very hard to understand that they are only fyp students, so they are new, there are lots of things they weren't exposed to etc. </div>
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Back to what they did today. </div>
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First of all, they come to lab extremely unprepared. Most of the time, they come to me with empty hands, without their log books or any reference journals. Well, this is acceptable,IF, they have everything they need to do at the tip of their finger or they've fully absorb the details in their brain. But no, they come to me empty handed and just expect me to tell them what they are supposed to do. </div>
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I told one of them to dissolve her material in a solvent and sonicate it for 1 hour. Guess what she did after dissolving the material? She stood by the sonicator and waited for God knows what until I said, " what are you waiting for? Put it into the sonicator." </div>
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Two, they are not initiative. If I don't tell them when they are supposed to do what, they'll just keep quiet and wait. Okay, maybe this is still categorized under the-still-new-not-sure-what's-going-on problem. Maybe this can still be forgiven. </div>
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Since the very beginning of time, I've told them that for research, it is a MUST to read lots of journals. Yes, they may still be new and will not fully understand what they read. But at least make the effort to read. Sad to say, after four months (they started in February), they sent me a copy of their proposal for proof reading and the literature in it was just up to whatever I told them to read. </div>
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They learned how to do two of the characterizations today. When I asked them at which wavelength would they anticipate the peak to appear, NONE of them could tell me an answer. *facepalms* It is a very general characterization where there are A LOT of literature are available. Plus this is not a new characterization to them, they have had encounters with this instrument during their studies. Sigh. For this, I'm very very disappointed la. </div>
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I do not want to spoonfeed them. I want them to have the experience of doing proper research work. So that they can have the freedom of learning and at the end of the day, I hope they'll reap the fruits of their hardwork and feel the accomplishment. </div>
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But it seems like it's not working. </div>
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Should I just spoon feed them? Send them journals to read? Set them a timetable? Tell them what to do step by step? </div>
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I really dunno. </div>
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I'm going on leave for nearly a week next week. I wonder, will they just wait until I come back to proceed with their work? </div>
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Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-5660128024955751892014-05-15T00:31:00.001+08:002014-05-15T00:31:07.368+08:00I'm back! xDHello people! <div>
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I'm back on blogspot. Although I know very well that very few actually read whatever crappy things that I post here. Anyways, previously I moved on to blog on wordpress.com. But apparently due to some unavoidable circumstances it seems that that blog is gone. So I was thinking perhaps I should just come back and blog over here.Yeah, that was what I decided like 5 minutes ago. </div>
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Hence the updated background. Lots of floral. Lots of pinkish reddish. So me-ish. LOLS. As if there is such a word. Yupp, when I have more time I'll explore more and hopefully make it looks better (I know veryyyy well my skills sucks big time). xP </div>
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Hmm, actually I haven't been blogging much. Blame it on lab work or the journal readings or the manuscript writing. The truth is I've been procrastinating, a lot. So not me. Tsk tsk tsk. I should really find the drive to kickstart my engine back again. Vrooomm vrooommm vrooommm. LOLS. </div>
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Anyways, it's good to be back I guess. Everything happens for a reason. So here I am. And hopefully I'll procrastinate less, update more about my boring life. LOLS. </div>
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That's all, byeeeee! xD</div>
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Love, </div>
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Ellie</div>
Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-34241790828765414402012-04-18T21:01:00.001+08:002012-04-18T21:01:44.572+08:00A Presentation Today.Subject: Presentation for final year project 1 proposal<br />Time: 2.30-2.45pm<br />Place: WDK 17<br />Status: Done<br />Comments: Relief<div>
Happy<br /> Tired</div>
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Ah, the blissful feeling one feel after one big thing is over. :)</div>Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-71181033791329017242012-04-15T16:02:00.002+08:002012-04-15T16:02:41.426+08:00#32 I want to be home! ;(With tears rolling down my cheeks, all I can think of is to be home with you. I do not care that you tell me they are just light injuries. I wan to be there and care for you. I want to help you do the chores you can't do. I just want to make sure you're fine. Please heal fast. I miss you.<br />
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<br />Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-48132182308437200532012-04-15T02:32:00.003+08:002012-04-15T02:32:24.424+08:00#30 Specially for YOU :)I seldom do birthday post. I do remember birthdays, I thought of doing birthday posts. But somehow or rather the words always get jumbled up, I end up not doing.<br />
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Well, today I shall do one.<br />
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<span style="color: purple;">To YOU, my dearest friend whom I sat with for my entire life in an all girls school, the one who knew me inside out, the one who watched me fall academically, helped picked me up, the one whom I relate too, the one who patiently taught me maths and english, the one I had fun building water rocket.... The list is endless...</span><br /><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta; font-size: x-large;">BLESSED BIRTHDAY!!!!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">Time really flies. I meet you when I was thirteen and now you're twenty three. We've been friends for a decade. Gosh, that makes me feel old. But all these years, you've been truly a friend. Maybe after we started uni, we've less contact. But everytime I have a conversation with you, I've never felt that we lost any part of our friendship. And I guess that's the best thing bout true friends. No matter how far we are apart or how long have we not chat, nothing in our friendship changed. </span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">And for everything that you've done as a friend all these years, I thank you from the dept of my heart. I thank God too, for blessing me with you. For a friend is truly a gift indeed. And even if you're not the bestest I've ever had, you hold a special spot in my heart that no one will ever replace. </span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">For your twenty third birthday, I wish that you have a great celebration and all the best in your studies. :)) I wish that everything goes well with your work and no matter what stress you face, you'll be able to overcome it and come out stronger. Stay gorgeous and sweet. :))</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">Btw, we really need to meet up and chat! Haha.. See ya when I'm back! Till then, cheers! xD</span></div>
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Once again, <span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARIA! </span></div>Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-54436879225497982242012-04-10T00:10:00.003+08:002012-04-10T00:10:59.927+08:00#29 First day back.2 minutes till the end of today, the first day back after mid sem break. <strike>Nothing interesting, nothing sad so</strike> <strike>nothing to whine about.</strike> Lol.<br /><br />First class of the day got cancelled. Second class of the day was a mundane one with the spanish lecturer lecturing spanish speaking ever so furiously in her so called good spanish mixed with terrible English and Bm, leaving the rest of us flabbergasted with her speech and act. Damn, I can't believe how much I'm looking forward to end her class. May she let me pass with the most minimum passing mark and leave her in her spanish-tic world.<br /><br />Oh well, perhaps one day in the future I would suddenly think of her and what had she actually tried to convey in her bombastic spanish. Till then, I shall not bother to decipher them.<br /><br />
Right, I got one of my mid terms mark. Pleased to say, I'm grateful for the mark. :) Thank you God for the blessings and guidance.<br /><br />Tomorrow, last lab session for this semester. Mixed feelings. Lab has been more of a carefree class this semester. The lab instructor must have given up on us, rather just leave us and see what concoctions turns out. Hehe.<br />
<br />And off I am on the schedule of lectures, lab, eat, sleep and study mode again. May this mode be kind to me for the rest of the semester. ;)<br /><br />To the rest paddling in the same boat as me, I wish you guys all the best too. :)<br /><br />I can't wait to savour laksa and kolo mee, to fight with tortoise, to hug my smelly pillow, to squeeze my cat till it squeek, to snuggle in bed with the big comfortable comforter, to have hours of girly gossips... Gasps, my list is endless. Oh, August would be great too. Waiting for you to be back. :)<br />
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And now, bed time. Night, peeps. I've babbled like an old lady tonight. xPEllie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-45045759036458344792012-04-08T16:05:00.000+08:002012-04-08T21:46:57.660+08:00#28 The Answer.A few years back, when I was young and naive, I had a conversation with a beloved classmate. A conversation I barely remember. But this conversation struck me again, many years later. We were talking about blogging. At that time, I do not own a blog. My classmate commented that she was curious that if I were to blog, what would I blog about. I couldn't give her an answer at that time. Certain things, the answer is only definite after we are in the process itself.<br />
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So, Laine, this is the answer. I<strike> blog </strike> whine about my life in my blog.<br />
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I whine as a part of letting go of the unhappiness that I feel. The unhappy and bad feelings that accumulate in me as I undergo many things in a day. I'm not trying to seek attention or trying to wallow in self pity.<br />
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I blog as part of self healing. I help myself to heal. I help myself to rejuvenate. I help myself to let go.<br />
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One might ask, why not speak to another living being? Why not re-channel the energy into other activities and pour the anger, sadness and joy into the accomplishment of something else?<br />
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The answers. People around me, closest to me at the moment are 99% going through a rough time if I'm going through a rough time. We are in the same boat. And what if they themselves have their own personal problems? At this age, people no longer just blurt out the problems they have. We fear of what others think and we fear of what others say,preferring to just maintain privacy. Therefore, whinning to those around me is not an option. I definitely do not want to the the one to spread the aura of negativity while I'm trying to be positive myself. :)<br />
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Channeling my energy into another thing would be a great idea if I have the option. Most of the time, I don't. I would love to channel my anger into smashing shuttlecocks, banging the cash register or chopping meats or making belacan with the pester and mortar. Those would absolutely be awesome ideas! :) Nope, these are not available here. Sad to say. ;(<br />
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Oh, sometimes I click furiously in Diamond Dash when I'm thinking, angry or stress. Games do stimulate thinking. LOL.<br />
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And now, the whinning part for today. The roommates are having test tomorrow. Hence they are extremely diligent. Staying up late, getting up early. Me on the other hand, is quite free. And I feel guilty while my fingers are going through the keyboard, their brain are absorbing information. Hmm. I shall just enjoy the last day of my holiday and stock up on sleep time I guess. Tomorrow will mark the start of another hectic week. Juggling lab and studies hadn't been much although I've been enjoying the lab part. :)))<br />
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Add ons: Thankie lots, si jie for the egg tarts! ;) They may not be the best egg tarts in the world but thankiu so muchie for the effort of making them, bringing them back here and most of all sharing them with us. *hugs*Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-10465916440669987152012-04-07T21:54:00.003+08:002012-04-07T21:54:40.703+08:00#27 Missing them. So much.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Fooddddd.. Food I grew up with. Food that cannot be found anywhere else apart from beloved Kuching. Sigh. Drowlingggggg.<br />If only there is someplace in Kuantan that sell great Kuching food.Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-51553145571128595062012-04-04T00:13:00.000+08:002012-04-04T00:15:23.443+08:00#26 RamblingsSo, today is Tuesday. What's the big deal with Tuesday you might ask. Nothing actually. I no longer have Monday blues since I no longer have 8am classes since 7 weeks ago. Friday isn't an exceptional joy ever since I no longer have classes on Friday for quite some time.<br />
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But today is a pretty happy day, apart from the fact I felt dizzy and nauseated. But it's okay. green tea helped, a lot. And finally I satisfied my cravings for apples. Now I'm craving for brocolli. Well, anything green and fresh in fact. This is one thing the uni's cafe will never satisfy me in my 4 years here.<br />
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And somehow or rather the long chats I had with the Kl kulat replayed in my mind several times ever since I was back. I have since came to conclusion that we, maybe Teresians are an aggressive lots, commonly known as the machine gun. I've came to the realization that I'm not the only one and I would not be the last. To those out there who've feared my machine gun, please stay away from other Teresians as well. We are all trained to be like that. Do not be fooled by the sweet and demure look my friend has. Try pissing her off and you shall suffer the same fate her ex-boyfie had, nearly 5 years after they end their relationship. Well, basically she shoots like me. Hahaha...<br />
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I've learn to accept that this is one difference between us and the others and I'm proud of it. I will not tame down for anyone. :)))<br />
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Have a nice mid semester break, peeps! :)<br />
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P/s: Okay, I like words, memorizing is my passion (well, one of my passions) but polymer is a pain in the ass. Sigh.Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-65440156069108511802012-04-01T20:06:00.001+08:002012-04-01T20:06:53.609+08:00#25 A weekend with the kulat. ;)The kulat in Kuantan decided to pay a visit to the kulat in KL. So off the Kuantan kulat went and spend the weekend with the Kl kulat.<br />
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Basically what the 2 kulats did were very simple things.<br />Eat. Watch movie. Shop. Walk around. Talk.<br />I think eating and talking dominates the whole trip.<br />
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But it was good. For the 2 kulats haven't met each other for awhile. And we had long hours of heart to heart talk. And the Kuantan kulat found a friend for her piggy. :)Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-5053578180841495992012-03-29T23:22:00.002+08:002012-03-29T23:22:32.880+08:00#24This week was supposed to be a busy week. I was supposed to have 3 mid terms and a competition and a proposal to hand it. I was supposed to.<br />
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But the supposedly supposed to happen things didn't happen. Well, not all of them. I had one mid term and the competition. The other two mid terms got postponed till after mid term break. Hmm.<br />
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Well, the competition was a research conpetition. CITREX in short for Creation, Innovation, Technology and Research Exposition. The only reason I entered was because of my supervisor of my final year project. But it was a wonderful experience. It was interesting to be part of a exhibition that showcase so many different and new research projects. It was a new experience to present a research project. Plus, it was the first time I got permission to not attend lectures. Haha.. xP<br /><br />
And the bronze medal was a bonus. :)))) I mustn't forget to include that this won't be possible without the help of my supervisor, Dr. Chong, my teammates Rubaiyi, Singying and Yelljing.<br />
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And now, the mid semester break is here. Coursemates are going home, so are the roommates. It is going to be quiet.<br />
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On an unrelated event. Just a thought.<br />
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This thing called life is an interesting roller coaster. One will never know how it bends, where it bends and what makes it bends. One can never see what is coming for one would be too busy to be dealing with the on-going. But as time passes, as one is handling the on-goings, one start to learn. To learn how to prepare for the 'ifs' in the future regardless of whether we expect or not the in-coming. To learn to adapt, like a chameleon. To learn to survive whether there is anyone looking after your back. For everyone is busy dealing with their own problem. It is not anyone's fault should one fail to live a proper life. It is no one's obligation to please another , to babysit another, to care for another like a fragile,little newborn baby. Caring as a friend is one thing. Babysitting is another thing. There is a distinct line between those two. Another thing one would learn throughout the journey of life is to learn to reflect. To reflect when something goes wrong. To reflect and find the proper way out. Denying that anything to be one's fault never solve anything. It only make things worst. Learn to accept that sometimes we are the one at the wrong party and to learn how to fix it is the best way. It is not easy. But so is everything else in life. Nothing is easy. We just learn to accept and get on with our way.<br />
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I is going on a little industrial trip tomorrow. I is excited. :)))Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-70785391315582948032012-03-26T01:22:00.000+08:002012-03-26T01:22:00.001+08:00#23 Under the weatherI hate Kuantan in April more than Kuantan in December. Maybe because I'm more of a rain person compared to a sun person? I dunno for sure, but I hate this sticky feeling eventhough I've showered five times today. If UMP is to face water crisis, I'm pretty sure I'm one of those to be blame. Plus, the weather makes me feel under the weather too. Getting the flu second time is 6 weeks is like, a new record I think. Lol. Now my voice sounds weird. Like a cat that gagged on a bone. A chicken bone.<br />
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Okay, enough babbling. Time to get back to reading anything that has to do with the three mid terms this week or something to do with presentation. Gosh, I dunno what am I supposed to present anyway.<br />
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Hmm, I would be extremely happy after thurs morning. I bet my coursemates would feel the same too. xPEllie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-85520482933332071202012-03-23T16:30:00.000+08:002012-03-23T16:30:09.670+08:00#22 In times like these...It is at times like this, one feels the frustration. The frustration of not having enough time, the frustration of why I couldn't do the test, the frustration of why must the lecturer gave tips that did not appear on the test paper, the frustration of why must there be such a packed schedule of mid term tests and so on. The list is endless.<br />
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But at the same time, I'm happy to be busy. I'm happy to be having things to do, although there might be too many of them. On this day next year, I wouldn't have this to complain even if I want to. I prefer to just adsorb in all the busy-ness and remember each moment of them. If only I can help stop feeling so cranky when I don't have enough sleep, it would be just perfect.<br />
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The mid-sem break is approaching, barely a week away. On this day next week, I'll be in the room alone. But I will be off to KL to visit a friend and the KL date we promised each other will soon materialize. Another reason to smile at life.<br />
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I saw a kitty sleeping next to its mummy yesterday. The innocent look kitties possess never fail to melt my heart. :)))Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-64614992296376075062012-03-20T00:50:00.000+08:002012-03-20T00:50:16.863+08:00#21 The Sixth WeekNot too soon, the sixth week is here. Which indicates mid terms are coming. 30% of my final grade are from mid term. In fact, one of them is barely three days away. And I'm not prepared.<br />
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On top of mid terms to worry and strive for, there are so many other things to deal with. Study wise and personal stuff. And somehow I've come to terms with all these weird things jumping out and scarying me like what the ghosts in horror movies do.<br />
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All I can do is grumble, complain and after that just accept that how much I dislike them popping out that way, they are here to stay. Yet there are also things that after I listened, I can just bury them deep down in my heart. I hope that they are biodegradable and they will rot and go away.<br />
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But I'm not a four-year-old kid. I know that they are there to stay. They are there to constantly remind me of their existence. They may fade a little. But they are like spores. Once provoked in the condition that they like they appear right in front of your eyes. They are there to haunt me forever.<br />
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Sometimes, I'm not sure whether these things are making me more and more heartless. I no longer have the patience to care bout teeny weeny things. I no longer bother bout things that do not concern me. I begin to defend myself more, refusing myself to get hurt anymore. Am I turning more heartless? I do not know, confused indeed. But who to clear my confusion. I wonder whether I am doing the right things, whether I am doing things right.<br />
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Next week is a tough week. Three mid terms. Dear God, please help this tiny people get through everything. Please clear my mind and my confusion. Thank you.Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-22098740709469553342012-03-16T23:58:00.000+08:002012-03-16T23:58:00.257+08:00#20 After a long long day...Over the phone with dad.<br />
Me: I want hug hug. :(<div> Dad: Haha... Now only March. *in the background* Mum laughing loudly. Bubble meowing. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Damn, I need a hug and I wanna hug my cat. Sigh.</div>Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6938053168568642592.post-22860557664637276552012-03-11T00:41:00.000+08:002012-03-11T00:41:13.665+08:00#19 Doubtexcerpts...<br />
" To your enemies, forgiveness.<br />
To an opponent, tolerance.<br />
To a friend, faith.<br />
To all, charity.<br />
To a person in need, kindness.<br />
To your family, love.<br />
To yourself, respect."<br />
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It is indeed a list of needed things to complement a life. It is indeed something so obvious yet so naked to the eyes.<br />
Thy self confused, thy brain is tired and thy just want to have something normal to happen.Ellie YiLihhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607684293174207502noreply@blogger.com0