Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Of Airport and Relationship

It's 2.22 am. I'm cold. I'm alone in the airport. And the most important thing is, I can't sleep.

I used to be soooo good in sleeping. Especially during journeys. In buses, cars, planes. But today, I didn't.*wails* That's kinda a first time for me. Miserable first time though. But still, I think it deserves a mention in my blog post. Lol.

After sitting on the bench looking around pointlessly, I ended up taking out my lappie. I decided to write something. It has been awhile since I really wrote anything personal in my blog. Perhaps I still can't over the anxiety of putting out my personal life in public.

I dunno what to write actually.

Listening to Tim Ellis's "Eternally Yours" , perhaps I would talk about relationships.

For the longest time I could remember, this had been and still is the most interesting topic among my friends. We're always curious about what's going on with who and who, who's together with who. That was how it was in high school and it didn't differ much when I went to uni. Only the stories got more interesting. Lol.

Only I wasn't in one. And it didn't occur to me that I would be in one at a time like this. Simply because I'm still studying. My biggest reason would be I myself doesn't know where I would settle down or even when I will end up studying, how can involve another in my unstable life? I don't even know whether I'll be jobless when I graduate from graduate school. Lol.

Little did I know, certain things aren't in my control.

I got to know L when I was undergoing industrial training. He worked at the Production department and I got to do a brief stint of training at production department. He was the very first member of the production department that I got to know on my first day there.

The very heavy rain on the day that was supposed to be my last day in production turned everything around. It was raining very heavily, I couldn't take the bus and I had no other mean of transport. I was feeling very helpless because I didn't know how could I go home.At that time he offered to send me home.

After that one time, he continued to send me home everyday for the rest of my industrial training period. I was kinda amazed with his persistent. Lol.

L is the complete opposite of me. We have a huge age gap, different race and different religion. He's super quiet. And I guess he is the most good tempered person I've ever met. And I'm not exactly the easiest person to live with.

Perhaps it's due to all these "opposite-ness" that I accepted him. It's always calm with him and I can complain and talk as much as I want (he enjoy listening me talk or so he says.LOL.). But his quietness makes him a little hard to understand. He veryyy seldom talk about himself. So I had to figure out my own way to understand him

Things aren't smooth sailing as always. I was never in a relationship, I didn't know how to make a relationship work. Many times in the first few months of our relationship, I thought of giving up. I thought of telling him that we wouldn't work out and we should just let go. Somehow, I never. But I won't deny the thought crossed my mind, several times.

Graduate school had been a rocky journey as well. I was new, there weren't any seniors around to help me out and I was scared of my research not working out. For the first few months when my experiments failed, I would return to the hostel, climbed into my bed and bawl my eyes out. Whenever I got pissed off with anyone, most of the times,I end up in tears too. He had been there most of times, staying by the phone while I cried my eyes out.

He always the one who's treating me very nicely.Except now, coz I'm alone and freezing in the airport. He's in dreamland at home. So unfair. And according to a beloved Butt, I'm not that nice to him. Lol.

Till now, I'm not sure if this will ever work out for me or for him. But so far, I'm glad he came into my life. Together with my musketeer friends, they are my pillar of life. I know I can count by them.

Even if in the future, our relationship doesn't not work out, I hope that this post will serve as a reminder to me on the wonderful people that came into my life. :)

No comments:

Post a Comment