The first time I left home was the first time I was sent into an alienated surrounding. And I was an alien there too. I couldn't speak mandarin and I had trouble remembering chinese names.
The first time I left home, I was homesick. Homesick to the state I look fine on the outside, but I would burst into tears when I look at the phone booth. I cried in my pillows on weekends. Simply because I couldn't call home and the ones I miss can't come and visit me.
I simply missed home.
That was in the past.
Now I'm away from home again. This time further away, into another surrounding even more alienated. I've improved on mandarin and I can remember people's name. Yet I'm still an alien. I can neither read mandarin nor converse in cantonese. I'm from the other side of a big piece of sea.
And I miss home. I can call home, but that cannot substitute the longing of being embraced by mummy and daddy. I can feel the tears coming, But glittering on my eyes I would let them, let them pour down my cheeks I won't allow them.
I still miss home.
But this time, I would not let it affect me. For I have more importants things to do. After I've poured it out here, I will not miss home anymore. For God all love us, He has plans for us.
Sending the loves back home,
Ellie.
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