Sunday, April 8, 2012

#28 The Answer.

A few years back, when I was young and naive, I had a conversation with a beloved classmate. A conversation I barely remember. But this conversation struck me again, many years later. We were talking about blogging. At that time, I do not own a blog. My classmate commented that she was curious that if I were to blog, what would I blog about. I couldn't give her an answer at that time. Certain things, the answer is only definite after we are in the process itself.

So, Laine, this is the answer. I blog  whine about my life in my blog.

I whine as a part of letting go of the unhappiness that I feel. The unhappy and bad feelings that accumulate in me as I undergo many things in a day. I'm not trying to seek attention or trying to wallow in self pity.

I blog as part of self healing. I help myself to heal. I help myself to rejuvenate. I help myself to let go.

One might ask, why not speak to another living being? Why not re-channel the energy into other activities and pour the anger, sadness and joy into the accomplishment of something else?

The answers. People around me, closest to me at the moment are 99% going through a rough time if I'm going through a rough time. We are in the same boat. And what if they themselves have their own personal problems? At this age, people no longer just blurt out the problems they have. We fear of what others think and we fear of what others say,preferring to just maintain privacy. Therefore, whinning to those around me is not an option. I definitely do not want to the the one to spread the aura of negativity while I'm trying to be positive myself. :)

Channeling my energy into another thing would be a great idea if I have the option. Most of the time, I don't. I would love to channel my anger into smashing shuttlecocks, banging the cash register or chopping meats or making belacan with the pester and mortar. Those would absolutely be awesome ideas! :) Nope, these are not available here. Sad to say. ;(

Oh, sometimes I click furiously in Diamond Dash when I'm thinking, angry or stress. Games do stimulate thinking. LOL.

And now, the whinning part for today. The roommates are having test tomorrow. Hence they are extremely diligent. Staying up late, getting up early. Me on the other hand, is quite free. And I feel guilty while my fingers are going through the keyboard, their brain are absorbing information. Hmm. I shall just enjoy the last day of my holiday and stock up on sleep time I guess. Tomorrow will mark the start of another hectic week. Juggling lab and studies hadn't been much although I've been enjoying the lab part. :)))

Add ons: Thankie lots, si jie for the egg tarts! ;) They may not be the best egg tarts in the world but thankiu so muchie for the effort of making them, bringing them back here and most of all sharing them with us. *hugs*

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