Monday, November 28, 2011

Happiness and Frustration

How can one be so filled with so many different types of emotions?

Great things did happen recently. One big one would be the day I turned twenty-two. I'm happy for that occasion. I'm glad that so many accompanied me. With birthday song, presents, birthday cake,nice food, gigantic card, how could a birthday be any better? ;))

But at the moment, I'm feeling frustrated, Or maybe a little like a black little lamb wondering amist a big group of white big sheeps.

I think I've failed my own expectations. Not doing enough, not doing well.

I don't understand unit operations again. SIGH. Which make me miss the good old days. And further make me depressed.
I tried completing the other works but they didn't give me the satisfaction I wanted.
I want to do more but I lack the drive that I need.

No one's problem this is apart from my own. Yet I feel like reaching out, for someone to lift out theirs and pull me out of the hole I'm sinking into.

I probably miss more than I expected to. I probably felt more than I wanted to. Which gave me the perfect reason to distant away to avoid all the suffering that might follow up. And I thought I was coping well. Okay, better than 3 years ago definitely. But why show up when I least expect it? And make me think even more? As if my brain is not working hard enough?

This is not the moment to care about such thing.

Well, what title to do for final year project?
Graphene oh graphene.

I sure hope my mood lift up more after this. When I was  a little girl, people used to say that I'm one cheerful girl.
I wonder, did i forgot how to smile in the years I grew up? xP

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