Woes of a Postgraduate Student #3 Of Self-correction

Yesterday was 30th June 2014. The last day of June. The day before we start off the other half of 2014. And a challenging day indeed. 

It was the last day to submit the full paper for a conference that I'll be joining in August. I've sent it for my sv to look through it and correct it a month ago. Up till yesterday morning, I've not receive any reply from my sv. Hence, I sent him an email, asking him about it. 

I was expecting him to reply with the corrected version. 

Instead, this was what I got. 

"Just submit it. I don't have time to look through it." 

My reaction: 

HOMAIGOD.

@.@

So I spent the next few hours reading, re-reading and re-reading my paper. 

Trying to correct my grammar, thinking whether what I wrote made sense and being paranoid because I wrote over the limit, I was lost on which part I should cut out. 

And even after I've read for the n-times, I was still not confident of my work. 

Sigh. 

#2 Woes of Postgraduate student: HEART ATTACK

Yours truly went out happily for lunch followed by tea break at Secret Receipe with the roomie. Well, my ex-roomie but I still address her as roomie. Lunch was at the chap fun shop as usual, where I had rice with dunno-call-what vege and steamed egg with mince pork. Then at Secret Receipe I had a slice of chocolate cheesecake and a glass of apricot and orange slushie. Super happy or my tummy was the one super happy packing away all the fats lah. 

Anywas, I came back to lab then the boyfriend called. So I answered the call at the lab where I usually do my labwork. 

Was hovering around there when suddenly I realized, "WHERE DID MY OTHER VACUUM PUMP WENTTTT!????" 

Started panicking because the pump cost about 1K. Went around the  labs to search for it and asked around. Until one of the fyp student told me, "The other student took it to the other lab to use. "

=.= 

Can don't give me heart attack or not har!?? My heart is very weak one. 

Kinda pissed off at them for making me hunt for nothing. But I didn't want to scold them. In the end, I wrote and email asking them to inform me if they want to move the assests elsewhere. 

Fuhh. End of heart attack. 

That Time of the Month

It was the time of the month. And pain was anticipated, as usual. The me when to the work as usual. Slight discomfort but still bearable. Few hours later, I had to swallow my words. The pain's intensity increased and the me started to sweat, cold sweats.

I knew where that discomfort would get me. Learning from previous 'blackout' epsisode, the me decided to head back to the hostel, to the comfort of the bed.

And yeah, I literally crawled back to the hostel.

After popping painkillers and consumed a glass of hot ginger tea,the me climbed into bed and burried myself among my pillows and blanket.

*dejavu feeling*

Was it just 2 years back when I was in a similar situation but with the musketeers with me?

It happened in the lab too. I remembered how they accompanied me to the clinic then back to my room and after that came over to check at me again.

At that moment, I really really miss them. Uni has never been the same without them, ever.

Yours truly was in pain, lack of company and really craving for some source of comfort. Which isn't exactly me. Since the me has always been quite independent.

The lion not being around didn't help much either. In fact it made matters worse.

The next day when the lion came back into range, the me broke down over the phone. I was missing my besties THAT much. ;(

Hello June! xD

I've not being very hardworking in updating my blog. To be honest, most of the time, I write but I chickened out and the draft remained kept in the draft section. Sometimes I felt that what I wrote was a little tad too private. And posting it on my blog make me feel naked. Vulnerable. Like a de-skined chicken. Lol. 

It's June. We're practically halfway through the year 2014. I felt that I need to do some sort of a review of my half year. Like how companies review the performance of the employee. Like how students have their first semester exams. I'm not working and I'm a student who do not have exams. Therefore, I shall review myself. Lol. 

*warning, it might be a little biased* LOL. 

First, how bout a little review of my current research?
I started off 2014 with a little sour note on my research. I did A LOT of experiments. But none came out a success. It was only somewhere at the end of February I managed to *cough* out some results which is usable. 

After that I had been struggling with the writing part.
#realizedwritingissomuchharderthanexperimentalwork
And I'm still struggling with it.
Nevertheless, I finished writing a conference paper. And currently working on my manuscript for publication. By standards,the later is much harder.
The are soooo many graphs to be plotted and analyzed. The later part is causing much confusion too. #midnightgraphwoes
But I really really wanna write well, so I'm still working on it. 

I have two more characterizations to do for this project. 

So for June, I hope to able to finish them up and get good results for those characterizations. And ideas for new project, please come to meeeeee... Lol. 

Next, about my erm, love life. hahahahaha... 

Not exactly one topic I discussed openly very much here. 

Well, the Lion is a very much reserved person. Don't talk much. Don't smile much. How in the world did I get into a relationship with him is still much of a mystery to myself. But over the months we've been together he has changed quite a bit too. 

He knows how to smile now. Lol. But erm, much improvement is still needed in the talking department. xP
But I think I've learnt a bit more about him.
Something I realized about relationship. While it's good to have someone to be there for you; lend you a shoulder when you cry;listen to you when you complain;encouraged you when you face obstacles;shower you with attention, love and care all the time, the bad part is I feel like I've started to be more dependent on him.
Where did the independent me went??? Hiding behind a tortoise shell? @.@
I'm still much pretty myself. Being able to function properly without him, going on with my usual life and doing what I'm supposed to do. But I've started to feel more attached. Like how I feel attached to my Bubble.
Good or not? I'm not sure. Let's see how much thing really goes.

Conclusion of review.
The me should work harderrrr. Haha.
Not entirely satisfied with my performance (for work) but I'm only human. There should be some rooms for improvements that exist.

Month of June, please be niceeee to meeee. xD I can't wait to end you happily. And I'll work harder to end you properly. Lol. Step 1, burn midnight oil on 1st June for manuscript writing. Haha. 

The Journey Home

I'm going home tomorrow! But I'm at the airport now. Sucks to have to stay overnight at the airport alone with only free wifi to accompany you.

Hmm, actually it was only bout 3 months ago when I went home for Chinese New Year. But I miss home, Kuching food, my cats and my bf. I went online, checked Airasia's fare and voila! cheap-enough-flights-for-poor-students-like-me. And I booked it. Tickets both ways cost me about Rm136. xD

This morning I went to lab as usual. Did some work. And took the bus at 4pm. After taking the monorail and another bus, I finally reached the airport, the brand new KLIA2. Lols. The first thing I hunted for was, the toilet. Lol. And I sure love the toilet. Big, clean, dry. xD 

Now I dunno what to do. I got approximately 6 hours till I go in the gate. 

Oh, not forgetting, I've got AWESOME friends. 

One called me during lunch hour just to wish me a safe journey and another texted me about the same time the first friend called. Guess we're not called three musketeers for nothing eyhh? xD

I love you guys so much! hehehehehe... xD

#1 Woes of a Postgraduate Student

It's amazing how the final year project (fyp) students under my guidance could drive me up the wall. 

And today they did it again. I kinda lose my temper, slightly. 

I was trying very very hard to understand that they are only fyp students, so they are new, there are lots of things they weren't exposed to etc. 

Back to what they did today. 

First of all, they come to lab extremely unprepared. Most of the time, they come to me with empty hands, without their log books or any reference journals. Well, this is acceptable,IF, they have everything they need to do at the tip of their finger or they've fully absorb the details in their brain. But no, they come to me empty handed and just expect me to tell them what they are supposed to do. 

I told one of them to dissolve her material in a solvent and sonicate it for 1 hour. Guess what she did after dissolving the material? She stood by the sonicator and waited for God knows what until I said, " what are you waiting for? Put it into the sonicator." 

Two, they are not initiative. If I don't tell them when they are supposed to do what, they'll just keep quiet and wait. Okay, maybe this is still categorized under the-still-new-not-sure-what's-going-on problem. Maybe this can still be forgiven. 

Since the very beginning of time, I've told them that for research, it is a MUST to read lots of journals. Yes, they may still be new and will not fully understand what they read. But at least make the effort to read. Sad to say, after four months (they started in February), they sent me a copy of their proposal for proof reading and the literature in it was just up to whatever I told them to read. 

They learned how to do two of the characterizations today. When I asked them at which wavelength would they anticipate the peak to appear, NONE of them could tell me an answer. *facepalms* It is a very general characterization where there are A LOT of literature are available. Plus this is not a new characterization to them, they have had encounters with this instrument during their studies. Sigh. For this, I'm very very disappointed la. 

I do not want to spoonfeed them. I want them to have the experience of doing proper research work. So that they can have the freedom of learning and at the end of the day, I hope they'll reap the fruits of their hardwork and feel the accomplishment. 

But it seems like it's not working. 

Should I just spoon feed them? Send them journals to read? Set them a timetable? Tell them what to do step by step? 

I really dunno. 

I'm going on leave for nearly a week next week. I wonder, will they just wait until I come back to proceed with their work?