A feeling of RELIEVE, A sense of PANIC.

The last 2 weeks was probably the busiest weeks I had in the entire semester. Tests, quizzes, assignments and presentations. They all came and visit at the same time. So, at 10am of Friday morning, I felt a sense of relief. The two weeks came to and end. =)

To treat and pamper ourselves, four girls sat in a kancil and head to Kuantan. Lunch at a chinese coffee shop, loitering at Berjaya Megamall, tea time at Secret Recipes, movie at GSC East Coast Mall, more loitering at Carrefour and finally dinner at Medan Selera, not forgetting today's breakfast from the egg tart shop. =) That took 12 hours. But I was glad for the momentary break.

And I just started study week. First day of study week isn't that productive. I guess I hadn't put in the appropiate gear yet. But I believe I can do better tomorrow. =)

The rainbow is waiting, I just need to put in the right gear and make my way over.

16 more days to total freedom. =)

I'm waiting.

LIttle update

I've finished the last presentation for this semester. Nothing unusual happened during the presentation. Probably I can say there is a lack in audience. Very few people were present for the class.

Second last quiz of the semester were also completed. Sucessfully, I hope. I think it was easier compared to the last quiz set by Dr. Chong. Hopefully, the test on instrumentation method on thursday will be okay too.=)

The Higher Education Ministry issued a circular asking public universities to reschedule the final exam to provide a longer holiday for the Deepavali. I hope UMP will nnot extend the final exam since I bought my flight already. I'm praying hard on it.

Second last test of the semester tomorrow. Organic chemistry 2. Wish me luck! =)

I love it when it's raining! =)

Countdown

13 days to final... OMG... *fear* *nervous* * anticipation* *happiness*
22 days to Kuching! *beams widely* *happy happy* *like like*

Thoughts I Thought of.=)

Okay, it's two weeks to finals. Two short weeks. And I still have two more test 2 to sit for and two more quizzes to sit for before i sit for finals. And I'm not a super bright student, I struggle most of the time for my studies but my results have been pretty decent so far. I've been mumbling just to say that I should be studying for tests, quizzes and also prepare for finals and I SHOULD NOT be typing furiously here. ( That shows that I do feel guilty for my own lack of discipline), but I'm still typing here. Perhaps I shall have to make up to the time by staying up late for an extra half an hour tonight? Haha...

Hmm... I guess I'm a deep thinker. As much I try not to think, thoughts still pop out of nowhere. It can be when I'm showering, eating, watching a movie or before I sleep. I tell myself not to think so much as sometimes I never get an answer to it and thinking only make me feel more frustrated. And maybe I should channel more of my thoughts on my studies then I MIGHT do better in it. On the other hand, what if God blessed me with such an ability so I should be using it right?

I often think about humans' behaviors. I wonder why certain incidents happen. I ask myself why certain people did what they did. I try to assure myself the world is a good, peaceful place and I should not think badly of others. I tell myself that I was just being paranoid and that I should change myself.

For that one moment, I really think that I'm the bad character and I should think in another better, more positive way. For that one moment, I really think that humans are good and I should learn to trust them more.

Yet, time and time again, incidents happen and made me lose faith in others again. I try to convince myself that those are just once in a blue moon incidents. But they left scars in me and no matter how much I try to erase the feeling of hurt, I fail. Terribly. And I'm angry for not being able to protect myself from being hurt by others.

Some out there might think that I'm being stupid. Why think so much? Just go with the flow.

I try. I really try. And I don't want the day when I totally lose trust in others to come. I don't want a day when I seal myself with walls of bricks to come.

But what is the right way to handle the thoughts that came by my head? They are just passer-by yet they are very powerful once. Just one visit and they make a print there.

In my dream tonight, I hope that I get a thought that teaches me do live well and happy. =)

Hugs.

When times are tough, or when you face difficulties in your life or when you feel lonely, what do you want?

Some might want a companion to chat with, others might want to indulge in activities that can cheer them up and I, choose to have a hug. Not just as any simple hug, but a multi-million, precious, not sold nor buyable from daddy.

I miss you, papito. Wait till I get home next month.

16 days to finals, 25 days till I go home.=) Add oil, Ellie. You know what you have to do and you know what it takes.

Tough time.

Dear God,

Please bless me and my friends to get through this tough time well. Keep us strong to face all the hurdles. And please, keep us out of harm and help us end things well.
Thank you, God.

Lesson of The Day

1. Do not misunderstand a person's meaning. Whatever you think that is bad, there's always something good behind it.
2. To get what you want, always strive, atrive and strive. Do not look back.

Ellie is going to sit for Thermodynamics Test 2 tomorrow. Still struggling at it. She hopes that it will be fine tomorrow. She and her course mates need to stay very strong to get over this tough, tough week. =) God bless!

One Month to go...

A day is only a day. Yet to different people, it brings different meanings. 16th October, 2010. A Saturday. A happy day for everyone. No lectures to attend. A perfect day to lie in. =)

To me and the rest of my course mates, it marks that we have only 1 month left for this semester. Two more weeks of lecture to go, 1 weeks of study week and finally, the final examination and we are done for this semester.

Just one word, bittersweet.

The thought of having holiday again is absolutely wonderful. Yet it is a so near yet so far thought. These last few weeks will be absolutely packed. Next week’s schedule is hectic. Three test 2 to struggle for including a quiz and also presentation to prepare for the following week.
Dear God, please bless my friends and me to get through these tough times. Please keep us all safe and healthy. And guide us as we do our revision. Thank you, God. =)

Ellie booked her ticket for the flight back to Kuching already. =)

OMG...

The time has come. The ever terrible end of a semester. When everything is in a rush and all packed together. Tests, quizzes, assignments,presentations.. Could there be any worst combination?
Tomorrow will be a busy day as well. But it sure still lose to next week's schedule.

I've got Thermodynamics quiz and management quiz tomorrow. Not to mention, I'm not entirely prepared for thermo, and i'm totally not prepared for management.

I'd better get back to studying.

Wish me luck for tomorrow. Cheers!=)

The weeks ahead.

I've come to the point where it is almost the end of the semester again. Just three more weeks of lecture to go, one more week of study week and finally, the final exam, I'll be heading home again. Home to where I truly belong and feel at ease most.

But before I can enjoy the comfort of home, I've got plenty of obstacles to overcome. Tests, assignments, quizzes... I hope I do find enough time to fit them all in. Optimistic that I can and I will, I wanna do my best.

What others think and what others do doesn't matter. I'm walking the path I chose to walk.

Smile, as the rainbow is waiting.

Till the rainbow comes, I shall do my work.=)

Changes

Change is inevietable. A phrase usually seen, used and agreed.

I, agree with it too. But has anyone thought of the feelings involved when the change took place? I believe that change is divided into two. Good change and bad change.

A good change. A change that brings good effect. The person and all around are happy with the change. I bet no one would unwelcome a good change, such as how no one would unwelcome the God of Fortune during Chinese New Year.

A bad change. I guess everyone know what it means without me explaining further. Moods change during a bad change. Dissapointment, anger, sadness, etc... But I believe that a bad change may only apply to a particular individual. I mean, a person may think that a certain thing is bad but those around the individual does not think so. Humiliation, exclusion etc. They all hurt a person deeply but I'm very sure those around the person never think that way.

After all, the world is a cruel place. Peace, joy and happiness is not something we all get everyday. Like it or hate it, live through it. Be happier and better than those who do wrong to you. There will be a time when you will not regret the actions you too. Time will prove that you can live without those who hurt you before.

Different

She had been different all her life.

She attended a normal primary school, where most of classmates and schoolmates were from the nearby flat. Her parents never approved of them, she was often advised not to mix with them. But she was a normal kid, I wanted friends too. In the early years, teachers loved her. Because dad was a businessman, they wanted him to sponsor stuff. It changed a few years later, teachers no longer cared bout her, because daddy’s business failed and no longer can serve the purpose they want. From a kid who had everything she wanted, she suffered a major change in her life. Ten-year-old kid don’t know suffering. She went through it as ease.

At 10 years old, she learnt to say lies when debt collectors come knocking at the door. She knows what to say when phone calls came in asking for her mummy or daddy. She still remember the scene when people came and brought her daddy away. She knows how it felt waiting till late at night not being able to sleep as daddy is not home. Little kids played around with dolls and toys. She was learning bout screwdrivers and bolt and nuts bout daddy’s machines. She stayed up late to accompany daddy working.

As she grew older, daddy changed job to support the family. She didn’t felt ashamed helping her daddy at his stall at the roadside. When people were concentrating of preparing for exams, she was still helping daddy at the stalls. Her friends had the chance to go out and have fun, she refrained from doing so as she knows that money is tight.

She went to a premier secondary school and was in the best class for her years there. Some teachers were biased and never paid any attention to her. She swallowed all these bitterness and continued her journey. She never trusted anyone after she saw how people betrayed her daddy.

And now she has entered university. Her road has not been a smooth one but she believe that God will guide her well through it. But all these years never erased the earlier part of her memories. She still cry whenever she though of all the hard times.

But she still give thanks to God, for keeping her family safe and sound all this while. She never went that hungry yet and things are getting better. There are still lots of things to learn.=)

Perhaps one day, she will learn to let go and be free.

University

Buzzing buzzing like a little bee,

There are times, at home I cannot stay,

Far away from home is this place i be,

To be the pride of the family, I hope to say.



A little distance away from the city,

Beside a highway it stood steady,

Buildings like boxes, it looked like a factory,

No ponds and waterfalls, unlike in tales of fairy.



No more mummy's best recipes,

The main charger for my batteries,

All I see is santan and chillies,

Instead of my love, the greeniees.



Drops of water can brighten my day,

Many drops I need during my everyday,

But sometimes, it is not my luck,

Only a few drops not enough for a duck.



But who I am to say all this,

For all I am is just a young student,

But I will show that I can survive,

To do the part I'm here for.

Ellie Teo
12.49am
October 3rd, 2010.

This Little Thing

This little thing
So miniscule
Yet it is there
I thought it didn't matter
But it stayed

This little thing
I didn't know it's purpose
I didn't know it's orgin
Yet it is affecting me

This little thing
You're not leaving
I can't let go of you
We shall stay together
In harmony and peace
This little thing.